Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Hard Night

Last night the only thing that would give a bit of comfort to my itchy body was walking.  So I walked about 9 miles.  My whole body was so tired, but every time I tried to lie down I couldn't take the itching.  So finally at 1am I was able to get some relief from a hot bath (which in the long run probably makes the itching worse).  Then I could sleep for an hour at a time.  I guess that was enough, because I'm up and functioning this morning.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father is blessing me with enough energy to take care of my family.

Jaremy had to stay an extra day in New York.  This is also a blessing in a way.  At least he could sleep in a quiet hotel without a wife tossing and turning and getting up and down throughout the night.  I feel so bad when I fatigue the two of us.

Benjamin has been reading "Lone "Survivor"  about a Navy SEAL story.  He has told us about how when things are tough for them in training or on a mission they have to stay in the moment.  Deal with the agony one breath at a time.  Not think about past or future suffering, just focus on the present.  So I've been trying to do that when I feel like I'd like to just numb my entire body for the next four weeks.  Just one breath at a time.  Just one step at a time.  I pray for Heavenly Father's strength to help me get through this.  It's not Navy SEAL training, but it is extremely difficult for me.

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