Family Christmas Parties and Resulting Sickness

We had the Keller family reunion over the holiday.  It was a lot of work and I hope my kids had fun.  I guess I need an attitude adjustment.  I'm not sure what good it did.  I would have enjoyed immediate family time a lot more.  Or maybe just one day with the extended family.  Multiple days seems to multiply the stress.  Some people say ornery things when they are tired and stressed, so I guess I need to be thicker skinned.  The human race is way too judgmental and gossipy!!!  I come away inspired and encouraged when I am around some people.  I feel like I encourage other people, which is nice too.  But this just seemed like a lot of work for neither to happen.  Maybe someone was encouraged or some good memory was formed or some relationship strengthened for the good.  I was not aware of this happening.  Somehow we need to improve reunions.  Somehow we need to improve relationships.  Watching movies together and eating together doesn't move us forward or together.  Let alone going forward together.  I pray we can figure this out and really become the family our Heavenly Father wants us to be and do what he wants us to do.

Here's my plan as of right now!  I am going to keep in closer contact with my family throughout the year.  I will make sure they know I respect, admire, and appreciate them.  I will continue to only speak good of them to everyone else.  I will not be hurt when the favor isn't returned.  I will live how I feel is right and not waste a second worrying about what other people feel or say about it.  I will imagine what good we could do as a family if we were united.  I will pray to know how to be a better daughter and sister.  I will follow the prompting I will receive. Then I won't fuss about it not being enough for my parents and siblings.

One little guy had the stomach flu while at the reunion.  Of course, that spreads like wildfire!!!  We are still in the middle of puking and aching.  Luckily, some of us are fine and can do laundry, scrub toilets, give massages, and such.  I'm so grateful for changes of clothes, washing machines, running water, a warm house, and days off.

Being the Grinch I can be, I am grateful we didn't have to go to the Butler family party because we were sick.  Obviously, I am missing some important principles here (namely--faith, hope, charity, and fun)! I will work on that!!!

Grateful for Repentance

I am so grateful that Jesus Christ made it possible for me to start over.  Everyday I fall short, lose my temper, speak sharply, etc.  I try not to, it really discourages me when I am not kind and patient yet again.  I could quit, but the Lord lets me try again.  He doesn't want me to loose hope. So I will resolve anew to keep my covenants and be more gentle and loving like my Savior and dear Father in Heaven.

Kitchen Fun

Today is our dear Natalie's birthday. She loves the kitchen-always has. So she is spending the day baking & cooking. I'm so grateful she has that passion. She is amazing and blesses our family so much! She will be an excellent wife and mother! Praise the Lord for sending us our dear, precious children!

Calming

As this evening wore on I became a bit disheartened. The stresses of the day, homeschool, finances, etc. piled up in my mind. I felt myself feeling negative and a bit ornery. So I hid in the basement for a minute. No, it was not quiet (there is no quiet place at 6 O'clock in this house), but I was alone. I asked Heavenly Father for a change of attitude and started thanking Him for all the good things that were happening right then instead of worrying about the ones that weren't. Heavenly Father answered my prayer and lifted my spirits. Later in Family Home Evening I felt the Spirit again encouraging me that we had a wonderful environment and family for our children even if the bathroom is a mess. The lesson was on personal revelation and how Heavenly Father will help us succeed in our callings. Surely He will! I just need to pay & study more & be grateful and less whiney. I know Heavenly Father answers my simple prayer this evening!

Schedule

I've been trying to keep a routine lately. Finally, Adelynn & the dogs are starting to feel the rhythm. They are not yet fully in it but getting there. Heavenly Father had blessed me with different ideas that have been helping us do the things that are important. I don't have time for much fluff, but I have a ton of eternally significant things to do. Quite often it is a bit daunting! But with the Lord's help I can do all things that He needs me to.

Heavenly Chaos

Wow! It can be loud and crazy around here. It its wonderful! But crazy! I love the constant whirlwind of children! However, it is nice to have a quiet moment during family home evening now & again. I need to help the kids understand & become more reverent. Noisy is fine most of the time, but I think our spiritually & love well increase as does our reverence. But I thank Heavenly Father for all the darlings humming about our dear cottage day and night. We are so blessed
to have the constant party, belonging, entertainment, & companionship a large family can bring. There is never a dull moment! Not only that, there aren't many meaningless ones either. Life us full of chances to nourish, train, testify, encourage, & really make a difference. I love this phase of life! It is rich & full! God is so very kind!

Priesthood Preview

This evening Moroni had a Priesthood Preview.  Jaremy was a bit under the weather and I didn't feel like leaving Adelynn to go.  But Benjamin gently persuaded me by telling me he enjoyed his and that he would be glad to go with Moroni.  So I got with the program and went.  I was glad I did.  I need to be better at fulfilling my duties and supporting my family in theirs.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father has sent me righteous sons to be wonderful examples.

Thanksgiving Party

It is so nice to get together with family during the holidays. This afternoon we went to a party with the Butler family. We are so blessed to have each other.

Safety & Health

Every night, especially when Jaremy it's gone, I get a bit nervous. But Heavenly Father watches over our little family each night. He cares for my sweet husband as well. For this I am most grateful.

The kids have been taking turns taking the dogs out at night. Last night they slept 7 1/2 hours in one stretch. Excellent! Now if we could just get Adelynn to do that. The potty training has been getting better as well, but boy what a constant job. It requires diligence and complete attention. Even then we've had some misses. It will all come together nicely in the next couple of weeks. During this time though it can be tempting to rethink having dogs, especially inside dogs. So I wrote the reasons we have dogs down. A well-trained dog is a fun addition to life. But if we say at this point it it's simply too much of a hassle the dogs must be outside then they never get trained properly. So when you go outside they jump, bark, chew, steal people food, knock over toddlers, & make such a nuisance of themselves that we have to confine them to a tiny kennel. Then they become a dreaded chore. Yell at the lonely dog to stop barking, feed it expensive food, get pulled on a walk with it, & shove it back in the kennel while wondering why in the world we wanted a dog in the first place.  The kids, especially Jessica, really wanted a dog. And here it's the list of reasons (some just tricks we want them to learn) why a are going to persevere through this demanding phrase of puppyhood:

Protect garden from deer & coons
Protect family and belongings from “bad guys”
Protect runners from “bad guys”
Protect hikers from dangerous animals
“Babysit” runaway toddlers
Pull a cart of deliveries or children
Carry supplies on a hike
Provide comfort as a cuddle companion
Visit nursing home and hospitals
Warn of fire and smoke
Warn of intruder or visitor
Help us learn patience, consistency, and unity while we train them
Encourage runners and walkers by bringing leash
Eat scraps and clean around table
Help Ella overcome fear of dogs
Increase chance of starting up conversation with strangers
Find and bring members of family
Throw things in garbage
Bring diapers and wipes
Find people after earthquake

Well, I am tired and need to be well-rested to start a new week. Good night!

Migraine

Yesterday I had an awful headache & spent most of the day in bed. My children were amazing! The took care of the baby, the meals, the puppies, and the house! No small task! They are so sweet and kind! Heavenly Father has blessed me with wonderful, dear children!

New Gun & Dogs

A few months ago I felt prompted to take my family's security more seriously. Then the next day I read about the people of Zeniff who lost life because they didn't take security seriously. Ever since then I have wanted a gun and guard dogs. Finally we have both! And just in time for Jaremy to leave again to NYC to help with hurricane relief. Hopefully, we will never need them, but I feel blessed to have a bit of extra security. The Lord and obedience to Him is where ultimate security comes from.

Benjamin Becomes a Teacher

Benjamin was ordained to the office of a Teacher yesterday. He is an amazing young man! So living, funny, obedient, spiritual, respectful, thoughtful, strong, cool, mature and just amazing! He takes his covenants very seriously. He inspires me to be a better mother.

We had extended family over for dinner afterwards. That was very enjoyable! We are so blessed to have such a living support group. Gravely Father gave us another wonderful day!

Hurricane Sandy

Jaremy was able to go help in NYC after Sandy for the last week. This amazing experience its an answer to prayer. Heavenly Father had opened doors to help Jaremy help others, discover & develop his great leadership capacity, & become a hero! He felt guilty coming home, leaving all the people who are in so much need. Heavenly Father blessed him with safety & health in a dangerous place. The  Lord blessed us with the same while he was gone. Jaremy goes back next week.

Natalie's Flip

Last night at Kami's house Natalie did a front flip and landed on her head twice and popped her neck. She was in tons of pain and we were worried about it being a neck injury so we called the ambulance. After tests and x-rays we were blessed to find she was okay! I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed our sweet Natalie with safety and health. She is such a joy and blessing to our family! She its always smiling and serving us all! I love her so much!

Evening at the Temple

Jaremy and I spent a calm evening in the temple.  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed us to do so.

Jessica Loves the Kitchen

Jessica is an excellent baker and cook. What a blessing she its to our family and will be to her own family.

Banking

During General Conference Jaremy & I had a parenting question answered about allowances.  Elder L. Tom Perry said we should let our children earn an allowance, so that its what we will do.  That way they can learn to budget. We want the kids to have chores they do just to contribute to the family and be responsible. But some out-of-the-ordinary jobs (i.e. fencing, painting, haircuts, etc.) we will pay them to do.  I'm not sure how we will afford it, but I know Heavenly Father will make it possible.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father gives us guidance in or duties as parents.

Ward Blessings

I believe the wards we have been in have not been coincidences.  I believe we have been so blessed by each one.  Perhaps, we have been able to serve and bless others as well.

In Paradise we learned so much about helping others and looking out for their needs by the service we received from dear friends.  We learned about natural medicine, homeschool, and self-reliance.  We still keep in contact with wonderful friends there. Evans, Alexanders, Hanceys, Kellers, Lawerences, and other amazing people.

In Honeyville we were reminded of the need to only speak well of others.  Also I was reminded how much my ward family encouraged me and helped my testimony and confidence to grow as a youth. Binghams, Millers, Mitsons, etc.

In Logan we felt truly needed.  We learned a lot from Sandy Neilsen about sharing and reaching out to others. We were reminded we have an awesome family.  We go on adventures and outings all the time and forget others don't always get that experience.  So we tried to share it with our friends, especially the deacons quorum and young women (all 3 of them).  It was nice to be able to share tips with all the newly weds and get great tips from the elderly.

In Riverton the leaders of most of the auxillaries came to visit us in our home even though they knew we would only be there a few months.  They welcomed us and cared enough to visit us.

In the first Herriman 2nd ward we might have been there to network among people who know who to adopt.  The kids also made great friends.

Now we are in the new Herriman 2nd ward.  We are starting out with a sea of new faces yet again.  It is challenging for the kids, but they are amazing!  It is a great opportunity to enhance our friendship skills.  We are excited to see what amazing blessings will come from being in this ward.  I hope we can contribute and help others as well.

Each ward has blessed us far more than this simple entry can sum up.  Heavenly Father is in the details of our lives.  I'm so grateful He has given us ward families.

Nice Normal Evening

Jaremy came home from work around 5:30. He immediately went outside to load green waste into the trailer with Benjamin & Moroni. Jessica & Hyrum fixed a pancake dinner. The little ones collected chestnuts off the lawn to earn 50 cents from Dad. I tended to Adelynn and scheduling tomorrow's school.  We enjoyed dinner then the kids finished school and reading next to the fire. It its not really cool, but Tank wanted the atmosphere of a fire, so... Heavenly Father has blessed our family with health and strength to enjoy this quiet evening.

Stay-Up Nights

Jaremy just took Tank on a Daddy one-on-one time.  Tank left so excited & came back thrilled.  He "got to do all the things he choose!"  They had fries, corn dogs, & frozen yogurt & play at an indoor park. It only took a bit over an hour to make memoirs and love that will go on forever. I'm so grateful for an amazing husband who cares & loves our awesome children. Heavenly Father had given me the best family in the world!

Primary Program

Sunday was the Primary Program. I am so blessed to have my beautiful children! They all did a great job! Tank said, "By doing my jobs I'm following Jesus. And I have lots of jobs!" He said it loud and clear! So cute! Everyone knows this dashing three-year-old by name and for his talkative personality.  Natalie and Ella said their parts perfectly too. They are gorgeous girls on the outside and even more beautiful on the inside. Natalie's smile is like sunshine!  She never its gloomy! And she is always serving everyone! Ella is spunky and very aware of everything. She can be loud, but sometimes goes into a thoughtful, mellow mode where she soaks it all in.  We call it Ella Malaea Mode. Hyrum gave his part very well. He spotted me in the very back (it was crowded) and flashed me a smile. I could see he a wanted to wave but remembered to be mature. He is preparing everyday for his baptism. He has a an animated excitement for life! Moroni is about to graduate from Primary. He was embarrassed to be with ask the little kids. He is a grown-up young man. He has really matured since we moved. He has become disciplined & very respectful. He controls his attitude very well and is responsible.  He will be a great holder of the Aaronic priesthood.

Of course, Jessica, Benjamin, and Adelynn weren't in the program.  They are amazing children too! I will have to brag about them another time.

I love my dear, wonderful children! They are amazing examples to me! They are precious treasures straight from Heaven! I pray I can be the mother they need. I could never be the mother they deserve in this life unless I become a perfect angel. We are working on it!

Good Books

I'm so grateful for inspiring ideas and encouragement that come from good books. We are listening to a book written by an amazing teacher, Ron Clark. I am already a better teacher and parent because of this book. The kids think it's amazing, funny, and crazy too! Heavenly Father blesses us with motivation and inspiration from so many sources.

Teaching

I'm reading a fun book about teaching. I need to get my kids excited about learning, so I am improving my ability to teach. I am excited to try some new games with the kids tomorrow. I'm grateful Heavenly Father has blessed me with my dream job! I love my children! I enjoy teaching & training them too. I will rise up & help them accomplish their goals & dreams.

The Cutest Kids!!!

Everyday I am surrounded by darling children saying the cutest things!  I love them so much!!! I wish I had time to record all the wonderful, funny, and amazing things they do each day.  I hope up in heaven we can watch reruns of all these precious moments that fly by at 90 miles an hour.  I hope I get to show them to my kids and say, "See, I told you, you were the cutest little bugger!"  But I hardly can keep my head above water right now, let alone document all of whirlwind.  I wish I could, because these are the days I love and want record of.  Hopefully, I can do more to preserve it.  I will record it right now on the camera!  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed us with this technology and I'm sure Heavenly Father has arranged for heavenly reruns!

We Are Up and At 'Em

It's 6 O'clock in the morning. We got up at 5:30. Tank is a great morning guy! Adelynn is still sleeping in my bed; she has a bit of a cold. Jessica & Jaremy are already showered and ready. Hopefully, we are of to a great start! Heavenly Father has blessed me with enough energy and rest to do the day's work ahead of me!

End of a Big Day

With homeschooling eight kids we only have big days! I'm worn out and feel like I'm spinning my wheels. But I hope in the eternal scheme of things we are making progress. Sometimes it seems we are on the brink of getting things right, but most of the time it seems I'm putting out fires. No amount of organization seems to be able to deal with bleeding heads, screaming, little boys, sand fights, sick babies, injured, elderly neighbors, and potty accidents. Most of the time I think I'm insane for attempting homeschooling, but on the other hand I think we are on the edge of greatness and success. So much good comes of it! I just hope it is enough! I pray For the Lord's help!

Island & Table

We were blessed to save a ton of money this weekend. We went to the store to buy a make-due, fold-up table at Sam's Club for the kitchen, but we didn't want to spend $80 on a plastic, temporary table. We also needed a couple of desks for the girls. We decided to look for something used on ksl.com. We found a $40 island for the kitchen which is tons better than the plastic table. Then Jaremy and I went garage-sale shopping. We found two desks for $18. So we spent less than new, had a ton of fun, and ended up with better products. It was a great date! Heavenly Father really blessed us to find just what we needed so we could stay in our budget.

Wonderful Neighborhood

We live in a great little neighborhood with loss of older homes and dear, older people. It is like having lots of grandparents to visit with. They are always serving us and doting on the children. Our kids are about the only ones in the neighborhood. The older people seem to really love having the kids around. Of course, the Butler kids are some of the most polite, helpful, respectful, thoughtful, dear children in the world. So it is no wonder I and everyone else loves them dearly! Heavenly Father had blessed me so much!

First Things First

Homeschooling provides a great opportunity to develop terrific leadership skills. I'm not very good at it yet, but I'll just think of it as me taking an intense leadership course. By Christmas I will be an amazing parent and leader.  I must build on love, principles, hope, and patience. I must not surrender any gain even when it feels I am not making progress or that I ever will. It is slow, but I am tenacious! I am weak, but I keep coming back & each time I pick myself up I get stronger. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father's help and for Christ's Atonement which makes change and improvement possible.

Resolve to Speak Only Well of Others

At the Lybbert family reunion at Bear Lake we had an amazing time. The Lybberts are amazing people. I was reminded how important it is to only speak well of others or as if they were present. This is kind and good and builds even stronger, closer, united families where everyone feels secure, loved, valued, respected, and welcome. I hope we can create this tradition in our family. I want our family to be united and work together to strengthen each other and build the kingdom of God. We don't have time to waste gossiping, judging, or criticizing. Or the years it takes to repair the damage such activities leave in their wake.

A New Friend

Kathy Kuhn, our neighbor, came over for a visit. She has some brain-damage from a couple of car accidents, so she doesn't leave her house much. She was the neatest lady. She told us about Herriman history, her life, and her conversion. She has a beautiful testimony and love of the Lord. We found a new friend! We meet her two weeks ago and have not heard from her or contacted her since. I feel awful. I hope our neighbors, friends, and families understand how much time and effort a large family with small babies and children demands. I hope they don't feel neglected or unloved. I need to redouble my efforts though so we can show more love. It is not good enough to be good, we must be good for something! We must help and lift others, spread the Gospel and His love, visit the sick and weary, redeem our dead, and build the kingdom. Education is worthless if not used to advance families and the work of the Lord. Of course, creating and maintaining strong families is the work of the Lord. I will do better. I thank the Lord for this opportunity!

Amazing Children

Last night we had a marvelous family night. It was very spontaneous. Jessica expressed her desire to become more like the Savior and encouraged us gently to all try harder to be more patient and persuasive. Benjamin said how much he loved every family member and how each one added so much. He said we have the best family in the world. Everyone agreed! Ella said we should never hit. She forgot that a few minutes later. It was funny. We had the Spirit in our home. Our children invited the Holy Ghost into our family. Neat!

Happy Labor Day

Oh, I have been blessed with a dream life! Jessica and I started the day running the Tempe to Temple Steeplechase. We ran it with my dear, dear cousin Laura. She is fast! She pushed Jessica & I to our fastest 5 miles ever, about 50 minutes. That's not fast, but to me it its huge! I'm feeling it tonight. But it made me realize I could be pushing myself harder & not just in running! I'm so grateful Heavenly Father allowed me to have this experience. I'm grateful I could spend time with my sweet, amazing, grown-up (15) daughter and friend Jessica & my dear friend, Laura. These experiences are precious!

Jaremy ran the support crew! He brought us Gatorade and cheered us on along the way with the rest of the kids. Then he brought us breakfast at the finish line.He kept track of our time and managed Tank and baby Adelynn. Amazing! I'm so grateful for his love and support!

After the race we headed up the canyon for a hike and some time at a mountain lake. It was perfect weather! The kids are all healthy and fit! The mountains were beautiful and peaceful! I kept telling Jaremy, "It doesn't get better than this! If this was the Celestial Kingdom I would totally be okay with it!" Family time is sacred and is heaven on earth. Of course, we have our moments of, "He's touching me! She's breathing my air!" But even those moments are just part of learning to love one another better. Heavenly Father has blessed us so much!

This evening we made incredible veggie burgers together. They were fabulous! Everyone but Natalie loved them! Then we sang and practiced Chinese while we did the dishes. After we went into the courtyard, laid out a blanket on the yard, turned on the water fountain & some soft music and dream-lined. We embed with scriptures and prayers. It was lovely!

Adelynn has woken up again, so ...

Brigham City Temple Open House

Today we took the kids to the Brigham City Open House. It was beautiful of course. But it was a very spiritual experience.We tried to come prepared with the Spirit. Adelynn started singing her sweet baby "Da,da,da..."while we walked through. She was was very excited about the Temple. She kept singing then hugging me tight. I felt she recognized something familiar and special. I felt she was testifying of Christ in her sweet, precious baby way. I distinctly felt she knew and loved Him and was aware of Him. I don't know exactly what it was or how she communicated that to me but she did. She just came from His presence, so I shouldn't be surprised. The Temple reminded me how much Heavenly Father loves us and our dear families. He has prepared a way for us to be together forever! I know it is true!!!

Peaches

Heavenly Father answered my prayer for adorable produce to store.  The next day my mom called with news of peaches for almost half of normal, $24 a bushel compared to $36. We just put up 9 bushel of peaches in the freezer, in jam, & peach salsa. Yum! I'm grateful Heavenly Father answers our prayers.

Gardening

Thoughts of beautiful plants, paths, flowers, herbs, & vegetables seem to fill every dream and void. Designs, plans, dreams--all of garden.  I'm so excited to see an empty, boring lawn transformed into a lush, colorful, & delicious gardens. Will it look as I envisioned it? Probably even better!! I'm so grateful Heavenly Father lets us create as He does even if we are only barely infant creators. Still it brings us closer to Him!  Still it brings joy and satisfaction! For this I am truly grateful!

Copperton Park

We spent the evening picnicing after a family home evening lesson at the Copperton Park.  It is beautiful with huge trees.  It reminds us of Logan.  Most of the parks here are just grass and a playground.  This one was lush and mysterious with trails, meadows, and a one-of-a-kind playground.  I love spending time as a family!!!

Adelynn is starting to get on a schedule.  She is sleeping more deeply.  Sleeping well and enough is such a blessing.  It helps us function so much better.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father is helping us in this regard.

We are plugging away at school.  It seems everyday brings exceptions and interruptions to the schedule, but eventually we will get it.  And even when we aren't right where we need to be we are learning and enjoying it.  In a month or so I will have a better feel for how much we are progressing.  I guess I better take a good snapshot of where we are now, so progress doesn't just slowly trickle by without us noticing the huge yet imperceptible change.  I also forget to count the desserts of learning.  You know, listening to an audio-book (We are just finishing Uncle Tom's Cabin; a beautiful, powerful book!), watching and discussing a documentary, visiting a museum, etc.  Those are an essential part of education, but because they are so fun I sometimes don't count them as much a completed math or spelling lesson.  But surely they are just as important.

Well, good night!  

Daybreak Beach

This morning the big kids ran around Daybreak Lake. Tank, Adelynn, and I went slower and only part way. It had been a beautiful morning. I'm letting the kids hang out for a bit then we go back to start school. Heavenly Father has made my life Heaven.

Sleep Training

Sleep training a baby is so hard, emotionally. It breaks my heart to let them cry themselves to sleep. But Adelynn is 9 months and is waking me up 6-10 times a night, so something really must be done. She cried it out last night and now she is crying herself to sleep for her nap. She still got up a lot last night, but she slept deeper. Soon she will be well-trained! Both she and I will be healthier and happier because of it! And the while family and household will run more smoothly. I'm grateful Heavenly Father let's us train and buried our children. We learn so much of His love for us as we do and come to trust Him more in the process.

Tank's Head Bonk

Tuesday evening found us in the emergency room with our sweet, adorable Tank. He had fallen 3-5 feet and landed on the cement on his head. It was a sickening sound. Oh, it about broke my heat to see him in agony. He threw up so we quickly headed to the ER. We prayed earnestly and Jaremy with one of our ward members gave him a Priesthood blessing. I felt comforted knowing no matter what happened God was at the helm. But still I wished I could take away this angel's pain.

Everything is fine now. He was feverish and sick all of Wednesday, but he is back playing and being our dear Tank again. I'm so grateful to the Lord for this beautiful blessing.

Dentist

I'm so grateful we have insurance and dental care. It saves so much pain and suffering! I want to share or blessings with others!

Beautiful Ivy 'n Pine

Today I can see progress! Our little cottage is coming along! I'm excited! She it's organized, weeded, cleaned, painted, and comfortable. The rest can be done gradually over time. Jaremy, the kids, and I worked on the yard a lot today. I love to work in the yard and see improvement. It also helps you slow down and really see the gardens as you weed them. It's so relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. I love heating the kids laugh and chase each other around the yard. This evening we rearranged bedrooms. In fact, Jaremy & I now have one! It will be so nice to have privacy and a retreat. Heavenly Father has blessed us with all these things and every thing else! I love Him! I want to be like Him.

Oh, yesterday Jaremy & I went on a date, just the two of us. We wondered through a farmers'  market and through some shops for a bit, we drove a bit, and had dinner at a Mexican restaurant which had a guy singing with his guitar. It felt so refreshing to get out by ourselves for a few hours! Heavenly Father has blessed us with amazing, sweet babysitters, health, safety, and precious couple time.

Good night!

Progress

I'm grateful we get to gradually work on our house and lot.  We are learning a lot about priorities, work, and persistence.  The yard looks yellow and dry, but we have made progress.  We have ripped out nasty bushes, planted strawberries, some herbs, rhubbarb, blackberries, blueberries, apple trees, kale, chard, and collards.  All of which will come back next year.  Somehow, we must come up with a lot more money if we want a bigger garden, chickens, a large orchard, and such.  Time and hard work will make it productive and beautiful.

The house needs a lot of updating, but it is perfectly comfortable the way it is.  It would be nice if it was safer, prettier, and more organized, but we are still enjoying it just the way it is.  Contentment is a virtue!  One must stop, breathe, sit on the porch, and soak in the beauty that is all around us.  We must count our blessings and not just our wish or to-do lists.  Our blessing list is always infinitely bigger than our wish list.  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has taught me this!

Homeschool Day

We are having fun learning even if the house is cluttered with books. Sick Moroni and the little ones are asleep. We are making progress! Slow but sure! I'm grateful Heavenly Father has blessed me with hope instead of a sense of despair. Yes, we are attempting something big! But with the Lord we can learn all we need to in order to make the world a better place, become self-reliant, and happy!

Answers to Prayer

Heavenly Father sent hope, love, and direct answers to my prayers and fasting.  I was reminded Heavenly Father lives me even though I struggle. He is willing and able to help me. I must turn to Him in every thought. I must humble myself.

I was reminded to parent as a true teacher and leader not a dictator.  I must encourage not humiliate, train not reprimand. I must search for the positive and let them know I noticed it. You are their friend not their enemy. You are their champion (advocate) and fan. Build them up! Give them the benefit of the doubt. Forgive and forget, so we don't get trapped in the same old problems. Let them be themselves & love them. Stop trying to remake them and just love them where they are right now. Accept and adore, comfort and cuddle. Let them save face like you would to friends, extended family, or strangers. Tone it down & don't take everything so serious. Teach them correct principles and let them given themselves.

Stop with the pride and comparison. Be grateful to the Lord and your family for what you have right now. There it's so very much! Don't worry about what others think. If they don't understand you or your lifestyle or why you are so happy and so at peace, so what. Focus on what matters not on opinions. Live as if opinions didn't exist. Just do your best and enjoy it! The world will never understand why you are so happy, so don't ruin your happiness by trying to get or do the things the world tells you should bring happiness. You have peace and tranquility so don't abandon it to look normal or successful. Don't try to explain it just let them wonder why you are so completely happy and joyful.

Don't stress about businesses. Put first things first and Heavenly Father will take care off the rest. Pray for help and work hard and try knew things. But don't feel bad if you can't accomplish it all. You have a once in a lifetime experience to raise these little ones. Don't ruin it by thinking you are falling because you haven't started a Fortune 500 company this year. Just do the really important things first (because time is limited & you have a houseful of extremely important people you may only do the really important things & not have resources left for second tier items.) That's totally okay! Be content to do what the Lord has given you strength, time, money, and other resources to do. Be diligent! But if you are doing your best be thrilled with the progress in your corner of the vineyard.

Failure

I have set some goals and been working like crazy on them. But my temper seems to be getting worse not better, I am not losing weight or saving money. All around Ivy 'n Pine I am surrounded by disgusting flooring, ripped, ugly wallpaper, dead grass, and weeds. Adelynn is sleeping no more than an hour at a time. It seems every interaction with my children annoys or enrages me! I feel I am so swamped at home that I am not contributing to my community or world, which needs some help. The world around me screams, "FAILURE!!!" I feel like throwing in the towel. I am questioning my judgment and ability in every aspect of my life. It seems I can't even form sentences or pronounce words.  My poor family!

So today I am fasting and praying yet again! I am struggling with hope that I can change. I've been trying so long, but you wouldn't know it. I'm passing for help to speak and act kindly. Oh, how I need the Lord's help! I must believe He can and will help me. I can't give up! I can't despair! There it's no faith, or hope or charity in how I am feeling. Maybe it is hormones because usually I am full of hope. But lately I have let Satan tempt me in to thinking what had hope bought me. What has changed because of it? So I must repent! And turn my heart to the Lord.

Terrific Tuesday

Today I ran 5 miles at an 11 minute pace.  That's not very fast, but it was my fastest ever!  I was very excited!  My goal for the month is to be able to run 8 miles in 80 minutes.  I will continue my speed drills and sprints and see if I can improve my pace.  We are running a 1/2 marathon in November.  I want to finish in under 2 hours so I need to train at 7 miles per hour.  Yikes!  That seems fast!  For me anyway!  But hey, why not!!  Maybe I was born to run fast and I just haven't tapped into that yet!   Heavenly Father has blessed me so much with a healthy body!!!  I'm so glad my family runs too!

We've started our homeschool year!  I love it!!  It is so overwhelming!!!  But I'm excited for a challenge!!!  Yesterday I felt like there was no way I could teach all these kids, with all this chaos.  It seemed like everybody was behind.  But we can do it!!  I have no time to feel discouraged or think about failure.  I only have time to work like crazy and succeed.  There is no other option!  We will triumph!!! The kids will get a first class education this year and be found far ahead of their grade level in every way be the end of the school year in May 2013!  I'm so excited!!!!  This will take a huge effort and amazing patience, organization, and encouragement.  We can do it!!!  Heavenly Father didn't send us here to fail or be mediocre.  We are His children!!  With His help we can do anything!!  We just have to rely on Him and let the divinity within us blossom.

Treat Street

Last night our ward had a fellowship activity to help us get to know the people in our ward.  On two of the streets in our ward all the people who live on those streets would make treats and sit outside to greet and meet the rest of the ward who walk around to meet the people on those streets.  It was a great activity to help I know one another.  I'm grateful for good neighbors and friends.  They are a gift from Heavenly Father.

Playing Fort

I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed our family with lots of brothers & sisters to play with. We are missing Jessica & Benjamin who are away this week. 
As I listen to the kids play I am reminded I need to speak more kindly so my children will pretend more sweetly.  I really need to speak with the tofu of angels and not the tongue of nasty old trolls.

Kids Out and About

Jessica has been gone to girls' camp and Aunt Rose's for the last two weeks.  Rose is teaching Jessica more sewing skills.  She will be there another week.  Jessica is getting to be so grown up and beautiful.  She is so disciplined, righteous, thoughtful, respectful, and kind.  We've missed her!  Jaremy and the kids keep asking when she will be back.  It's going to break my heart when they all grow up and leave.  But I'm grateful Rose gave her this wonderful opportunity to improve her sewing skills.  She is doing amazingly well!  Heavenly Father has blessed us with so many benefactors and benefactresses who have blesses and improved our lives.


This last Saturday Jessica, Benjamin, Moroni, and Ella had the opportunity to sleepover at Grandma Eva's and Grandpa Sid's.  They had fun!  Mom and Dad are so young, active, fun, and industrious.  I'm so grateful my children get to spend time with them.  


Benjamin left for Scout Camp this morning.  Heavenly Father has provided this wonderful opportunities for our children to learn and grow.  Of course, they have a blast too!  We will miss him too.  Especially, Adelynn will miss her big brother who carries her everywhere and is her dear friend.  She was sad to watch him drive off today.  Tank ran into his room and cried when he left.  This just shows what an awesome brother/friend Benjamin is.  


What a blessing to have such a dear, wonderful family!!!  I love them all and thank Heavenly Father for them many times throughout each day!

Fires

A couple of weeks ago we had a forest fire in Rose Canyon, a few miles from our house.  I drove the kids up to see what all the fire engines were up to.  While we were watching the fire became very large and ripped through a neighborhood engulfing some homes in flames.  It was humbling to watch Mother Nature.  Ella reminded us all to pray for the safety of the people and animals and firemen.

It is extremely dry this year.  We have had a lot of fires in Utah.  The First Presidency sent a letter asking everyone to pray for more favorable weather conditions and for the safety of the firemen.  We followed the prophet and prayed.  As I watched rain clouds come I knew Heavenly Father had heard the prayers of the Saints.  He always has sent miracles to us when we are united and obedient and always will.  It gave me a warm feeling to know our family was able to unite with the Church and pray and receive answers together.  It makes the picture seem bigger and the scope of the Gospel and Church just a bit more comprehensible and wonderful.

A Bit of Myself

Today we are still at the Lybbert family reunion at Bear Lake. It has been really fun. It's nice to hear some of the same sayings, joys, and frustrations that I experience or use. It it's neat to be surrounded by a lot of people who value large families and the gospel. I have felt Heavenly Father's love through others. What a wonderful gift! Being with my extended family helps me sees the bigger picture. Life cycles and phases are clearly evident. Aunts and uncles who were "just yesterday"in the "lots of little ones" stage are now empty nesters. Children have grown up ever so quickly. Some of our large family have died. Some have chosen a different plan than the one that brings happiness and eternal joy. Some are missing because of that. Some live far away. Some are rich, some poor, some healthy, some fat, some Marys, some Martha. All family and all loved no matter what!

Inspiration

Being in a family is amazing! Heavenly Father has blessed me so much through my family. They inspire me to get up early & join them running, write in my journal, be more patient, be more tender, and go to my knees more often than I would without their inspiration. I'm so grateful to be living with my amazing family!

Beautiful Waterfall Hike

We are so blessed to explore the mountains in safety. Heavenly Father has given us such a gorgeous world, yet it is dangerous. I'm so grateful for his watchful care & blessing us with safety.

First Camp of the Season

We are way behind this year. Usually we would have gone camping several times by now, but with a new baby and moving twice in three months it has been a bit crazy. It feels great to be camping in the mountains again. Right now it is almost ten at night. The big boys are exploring in the dark. I just nursed Adelynn to sleep. Jaremy is popping popcorn over the fire with the other kids except Jessica. She is at youth conference. We miss her; it seems like a lot more is missing. She leaves a big hole in or family. Each member its so important.  Oops, the popcorn burnt! Darn! Maybe they can master the next batch. We are having fun! The kids just love it!! I'm grateful Heavenly Father has given us such a beautiful family, world, and bonding times. good night!

Nursing Buddy

Heavenly Father has blessed my life with sweet Adelynn. Right now she is helping write this. She is a sweetheart!

Wonderful Date

Jaremy & I went out for dinner and to look for a new phone. It was a simple, relaxed, loving date. I love when we are together. I'm so grateful for the peace & serenity I feel this evening. It is nice to have calm moments now and again.

Phrases Stand Out

Today I felt the Spirit instruct me to have joy in my children. Going to the temple is wonderful. I also need to listen to my husband more even if what its said isn't said they way I would like to hear it. I need to see the good in people and stand up for them. I need to control my focus and focus on the positive.

Sabbath Reverence

Today Jaremy gets home! I'm so excited! I don't like being apart because it feels like we start to have nothing to talk about. Now isn't that weird? Doesn't it seem because we are both having completely different experiences we should have more to talk about? But without time to talk we just do little headline summaries. "My day was fine. We emptied the storage unit." Whereas if we did it together we would laugh at cute things the kids said, be amazed at how strong our older children are getting, and give each other a squeeze as we passed on the stairs hauling buckets. Oh, well.

Today I am going to try really hard to create a special Sabbath day feeling in our home. I want my children to feel the Spirit as I did on Sunday when I was a child. I don't feel I've been very good at inviting the Spirit on the Sabbath. So I will do better. I'm grateful for the peace & love & encouragement the Holy Ghost brings.

Management May 2012

Sometimes it floors me that I'm entrusted with managing a family with eight children. It seems chaos rules so often. I desperately need my Heavenly Father to bless me with greater love, wisdom, organization, selflessness, and love. I wonder if we waste so much time, if there is a better way of getting things done. Keeping everyone on task, or reverent, or obedient, or kind seems impossible.  I plead with Heavenly Father to help me become better at logistics, yes, but at showing love along the way even more.

Today we needed to empty the storage unit, but we didn't get that far.  We did have a good scripture study session, cut the boys' hair, fed everyone, cuddled, and went to the temple with Jessica. It was a great day despite the storage unit.

Stress

I usually don't allow myself to stress for the last several years, but lately life has been crazy!  Hospital bills, long business trips, broken vehicles, moving to a very old house, lead paint, asbestos, debt, deadlines, gardening, etc. I'm grateful for all of it! It's just today it seems like a lot to do and worry about.But that is one of the universal challenges of life! How will I deal with it? I need to turn to the Lord more and not forget to take time for plenty of spiritual nourishment.I need to treat my family kindly and with patience. I need to focus on acting like Christ so I can be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. I need to trust Heavenly Father and His plan. Work, yes! Plan, yes! Worry, no!

Homecoming

Jaremy had another business trip for the last five days. It has been a difficult five days. We are still in the disarray that follows a move. We don't have hot water, internet, a dryer, locks on the doors, etc.  I love Ivy 'n Pine, but because she's so old it feels like we are flirting with danger. We still haven't covered all the lead paint, replaced ancient wiring, removed asbestos, or made a good fire escape. Then there are the normal things we are facing like van repairs, gardens that need to be put in right now, and a couple of children who must be feeling insecure about moving and it comes out as disobedience.

I've struggled with my emotions and figuring out what to do first. I've disappointed myself with how easily I am stressed, how quickly I murmur, how selfish and angry I can be, and how I quickly forget to trust & praise the Lord in all things.

Even though I've been lonely for Jaremy I am so grateful to be surrounded by my amazing children. They are so capable, funny, supportive, and amazing. Most of the time I feel like they are the ones raising me. They are so strong! I want to be tougher (less prone to whine or rage at stressors) for them and because of them.  Kids, if you ever read this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Thank you for lifting my spirits with your understanding, kindnesses, humor, cuteness, dances, hugs, and laughter. Thank you for singing hymns with me and not making fun of me when I cry while I sing. Thank you for lifting my burdens by pick axing, painting, and planting. By making dinner, playing with little ones, running things here and there, scrubbing the old condo and the new house, shopping, assembling strollers and wagons and electronics. You are my dear friends! Surely you have all experienced loneliness, stress, and fear because of this move, but you have handled it with more strength, courage, maturity, and selflessness than your mother. You have given me courage when I was afraid, hope when I felt like quitting, and a good laugh when I felt stressed. You are truly my examples! You remind me of the Savior through your submissiveness, service, and love. I've seen you turn to Him daily and in difficult moments. I know little and big miracles have happened because of your faith. When I grow up I want to be like you!
Again, thank you! I love you all ever so much!

I've seen the hand of the Lord in my life this week though my sweet children's hands for they are His.

Shopping

I'm so blessed to be able to go to the store whenever we need food and stock up. With ten people to feed that it's very often. Jaremy works so hard and Heavenly Father blesses us so much! I'm so grateful!

Scriptures

All the kids are in bed; the house it's quiet. And I'm awake. That's rare! So I've had some time to think and study. Tonight I just opened a copy off the Book of Mormon by chance to Alma 34:40,41,39,38,37. I read the verses in that order. It was the order I needed them in! They spoke to my heart and situation. They are an exhortation to patience in affliction (not that I have affliction, but I do have moments I find difficult), an exhortation to prayer continually, and a reminder that quitting leads to "no good thing'" "That tree contend no more against the Holy Ghost,

Adelynn's Sick

Poor little Adelynn is sick with a cold. I have a bit of one too. I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed us with good health except for a bit of acute illness now and again.  Good health makes such a difference! I feel so bad for those with poor health.

Warmth

Today has been cold. Adelynn has a cold. So luckily we have a hand-me-down snowsuit that keeps squirmy babies warm. They wiggle out of blankets. We've had the doors open all day because we have been painting. But Adelynn has been warm. We've been so blessed and we take it for granted so often. Heavenly Father truly cares for us.

Moved to Ivy 'n Pine

Saturday we emptied our apartment and moved to Ivy 'n Pine. Big day! Sunday we rested, went to or new ward (which it's really great!), and enjoyed the peace of the yard. I love our new yard! Monday we brought order to the piles of chaos and had family home evening.

Air Show Protection

Yesterday we took the kids to the air show.It was cold & windy then it startedto rain & rain. Adelynn was in her snowsuit but it and everything else was quickly soaking. It was freezing especially for babies. She was screaming! There was no dry, warm place to hide. There were thousands of people around & I couldn't find Jaremy who had 5 of the kids with him. Jessica, Ella, & I ran to the van with Adelynn. We were soaked and freezing by the time we reached the van. But we were blessed to find the van & get there before the baby became hypothermic.  Jaremy had found shelter with the 5 older children. They were cold but of choose the situation was not dangerous for them only infants. I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who through His tender mercies blessed us to have driven the van instead of taking the train & kept us safe and happy.

Late Night Visits

Last night Jessica (15), Benjamin (13), and Moroni (11) got back from Mutual at about 9pm.  Then they came in my bedroom, sat on the bed, and talked.  It was so fun!!  They told me about their activities.  Of course, this evolved into a discussion about a million things.  We discussed friends, character, crushes, dating, and family stories.  It was awesome!  I told them all about the time Jaremy and I courted.  That was such an amazing time!!  This is such an amazing time!!!  I'm so grateful for my wonderful children!  Heavenly Father has surrounded me with the best of the best, in hopes they can be a good influence on me.  And they are.  I try much harder to be Christlike because of them.

Jaremy gets back in five hours!!!  I'm so pumped!!!  I can hardly wait.  I'll just keep myself extremely busy so I don't go crazy!  I love him so much!!  I can't wait to hear all about his trip!

Tomorrow we buy Ivy 'n Pine.  That will be great!!  We will start plant a garden, cleaning, moving, organizing, etc. this week.  All wonderful opportunities!!  If I am wise we will go at a good pace, accomplish a lot, but not cram to much into a day.  We will be content with what we can do.

We also have a family corporate retreat with GoalZero.  Our van is broken and Jaremy will have to fix major problems with that this week.  Plus, everyone still needs to eat, sleep, cry, and make normal messes.

It's going to be a huge couple of weeks.  But we can do it!!! I can be organized, work hard, motivate patiently, and be content at the end of the day!

Ivy 'n Pine

We are buying a little, old, rock/brick house in Herriman. We call it Ivy 'n Pine. It's a darling cottage on half an acre with beautiful mature landscaping. E will move next week. We are very excited! Heavenly Father has blessed us so much!

My Dreams

I have a lot of vivid, memorable dreams sometime.  The other night I dreamed of Adelynn at the beginning of a huge maze/obstacle course.  She was just laying there and trying to coordinate her hand movement to touch the wall.  She is only 5 months old, so of course the maze was impossible to her right then.  But I thought soon she will have great hand coordination, then she will roll over, then she will scoot, crawl, stand up, walk, and run.  However, it will happen in slow, almost imperceptible steps.  Within a year she would be running through the maze.

I've been discouraged about working on curbing my temper and becoming patient.  It seems I am not making any progress.  This dream gave me a feeling of encouragement.  No matter how feeble my attempts my be they will lead to control and success with persistence and Heavenly Father's help.

I've had several other dreams that have helped me.  They aren't visions, but they stand out and get my attention.



When Ella was a toddler I had a dream that we were at a party.  I thought Jaremy or one of the kids had her.  She wondered off and we found her drown in a pond with a yellow onesie on.  It was an awful dream.

I told Jaremy about the dream because it shook me up.  That evening we went to a dinner party at a friends cabin.  We had never been there before.  As we pulled up to the property I recognized the pond from the dream.  I grabbed Jaremy's arm and told him.  I was extremely diligent about watching Ella and all the kids that night.  Maybe if I hadn't had the dream I would have visited and not paid close attention.  It could have been disastrous!  I'm so grateful for that dream, vision, or whatever it was.



Several years ago I had a dream about my Grandma Keller, who is always happy, crying.  She said no one cared about her anymore.  No one came to visit her anymore.  A few days later my mom told me that is exactly what happened a few days earlier.  I wish I had quickly called her after I had the dream.



When we lived in Logan I had a dream we had just moved to a prehistoric place.  We were trying to set up a house while being chased by a T-Rex.  It was very scary.  Then our neighbors next door came to meet us and make friends.  I thought we are fighting for our lives here I don't have time for social calls.  But we socialized with them anyway.  We soon figured out the dinosaurs were only active for certain parts of the day.  We avoided going out during those times.  Soon we were able to live very peacefully in this wild place with our new friends and neighbors.

This dream reinforced that even though life seems to be a struggle to survive, people are more important.  Things will all work out.  Don't take problems to seriously, take relationships seriously!  After this dream I put off "extremely important tasks" and went and visited our neighbors.



A couple of nights ago I had a dream that while I was visiting teaching a quarantine was placed on the town and I was not allowed to go home.  I was terrified.  I had to nurse Adelynn or she would starve.  We don't even have a bottle  in the house.  This so disturbed me I snuck back to my house.

There I found several of my children sick.  But the ones that had been properly immunized were not.  I was overwhelmed with the care of the sick ones.  We needed garlic and other herbs and food.  I had to train the healthy ones to care for the sick ones.

From this dream I am encouraged to get a bottle and baby formula; extra, easy-to-prepare, healthy food; and garlic and herbs.  I will make getting my children up-to-date on immunizations a top priority.  I will train my children how to care for the sick and up-date my 72-hour kit.



When we lived in Paradise I had a dream about sitting down on a couch with an elderly friend from my childhood ward in Honeyville.  We made small talk.  Then she said, "Do you have your children ready for frigid?"  The word frigid stood out!!!

We have snow gear and such, but I still don't know if I have adequately prepared for frigid.  I will keep adding to our preparation.



I am grateful for these dreams.  They are just normal weird dreams, but they stand out and usually seem to give a message.  I don't know if Heavenly Father is trying to send me a message through these dreams or not.  But either way I figure they help remind me to get on the ball, improve relationships, and get prepared.  Those are things Heavenly Father wants me to do anyway, so if the dreams help enforce this--great.

China

My sweetheart it's on his way to China.  Jaremy will be gone for a week. I already miss him & he's not even there yet. I just have to keep busy and not allow myself to get sentimental. Oh, how I love him!  Everyday I ask why am I so blessed? I am married to a man who it's my best friend! He is so funny! I just thrill at getting to ride in the car with him. Everyday I am so excited for the time he comes home. He listens so well! He leads by example. Holding my hand, he holds my heart. Today he emailed me cute little messages of love. He told me before he left he's ecstatic about his marriage. For 16 years I have felt the same! Before I was married I longed and dreamed about the beautiful life I have right now. Someday I might be a widow for awhile and ache for him yet again. But right now I feel to praise my God for this amazing, precious gift of sharing my mortal life with my beloved Jaremy. I am even more grateful for the knowledge that we are eternal companions. Soul mates infinitely.  I love you, Sweetheart!

Divine Help with Parenting

Since we moved and I started homeschooling all the kids parenting has become challenging.  Two of my children and I have been having a rough time with obedience, motivation, selfishness, and anger.  It's been miserable sometimes.  It's hard to have the Spirit with you when you let anger enter the picture.  I must teach and train, but holding my expectations high while holding my temper down low has proved difficult.

I know every parent has times when a child refuses to obey them, refuses to work, refuses to be part of the team.  I know I gave my mother grief as a teenager who was "too busy" to spend five minutes vacuuming the floor or helping with dishes.  I know it is difficult to concentrate on a task you don't want to do or feel overwhelmed by.  But I need a good attitude and a good effort.

As a parent I need more faith not fear.  I overreact because I think, "This attitude will kill them as adults.  This behavior shows such a lack of gratitude.  They will go to hell if they continue doing this.  It is critical they get over this now and get a grip!  I'm failing as a parent.  If they won't even listen to me now and have such a stinking attitude now what in the world is it going to be like when they become teenagers. Etc. etc."  I need to realize we all have our own faults and we all have to overcome them.  Just because we make mistakes or struggle with our attitudes and pride doesn't mean we are doomed.  I know I struggled growing up. I overcame some of those faults and I'm still battling others.  I need to have more hope and patience.

The other day I was being completely disobeyed.  So I retreated to pray.  I didn't want to lose my temper, yet something had to be done.  After I prayed I called the culprit up to pray with me.  I didn't feel like praying or loving someone who had done nothing but give me grief all morning, but in silent prayer I pleaded for that to change.  I felt to ask the child to pray.  The child asked for help obeying Mom.  I said a prayer afterward.  I felt Heavenly Father place in my heart the child's talents.  I sincerely thanked Heavenly Father for this individual and for how they contributed to our family.  Before the prayer I didn't feel like they had been contributing at all, but Heavenly Father softened my heart and opened my eyes.  After we finished praying I was filled with love.

This wonderful moment didn't solve everything.  But I'm determined not to lecture or lose my temper.  I must teach and listen and be patient.

We have had other issues with another child.  I prayed and felt inspired to share certain scriptures.  However, when I did it was given and received as a lecture.  I'm not very good at this.  I sinned by saying, "Do you want to turn out like Grandpa So and So?"  Not a kind thing to the child or their grandpa.  When will I be able to teach without pride or righteous anger (which of course is anything but righteous)?  When will I be filled with love and the Spirit as I teach and tenderly train?  I'm really struggling.  Sometimes I feel if they weren't with me they would be better off.  Of course, that is Satan's idea.  I just need to completely destroy my pride and humble myself and love fully and freely.  I plead with Heavenly Father for this gift.  My children deserve a better mother.  I must become that better mother.

I just know we are on the verge of a breakthrough!!!

Happy & Tired

I'm worn out but happy! A good feeling!

Homeschooling Kids

I have my dream job, hanging out, experiencing, & learning with my kids. Jaremy makes this all possible! Today we went to the Leonardo museum.The kids had fun learning about animation.I'm so grateful Heavenly Father lets me have the amazing experience of learning with my kids.

Grandpa's Funeral

Friday we attended Grandpa Heber's funeral. He was an amazing person; I'm grateful I was able to know him. While everyone went to the cemetery Tank, Adelynn, and I stayed at the church because of the cold weather. Tank and I had an wonderful conversation about death, prayer, Heavenly Father, angels, etc.  It was a beautiful, spiritual discussion. In the middle of talking Tank said, "I want to say a prayer." Usually, he prays short routine prayers. But this time he poured out his little heart. He was really talking to Heavenly Father, thanking him for everything. Then he said,"And my grandpa died!" He burst into tears and cried a if his little heart had burst. I just held him.It was such a sweet, tender time. I'm so grateful for these dear bonding moments, moments when souls connect to each other and with God.  I love my sweet Tank.

House Hunting

Finding a house for our family with our tight budget is proving difficult. I guess I will have to sell my liver. I know the Lord knows our needs & well help us. I know he is preparing the way for us. We just have to be righteous enough to find it.

16th Wedding Anniversary

It is hard to believe we have married 16 years!  They have been amazing, beautiful, wonderful years!  I love my sweet Jaremy so much! Life is so crazy lately!  Ever since we've had eight kids & moved there it's hardly time to breathe.  Tonight we were supposed to have a romantic date, but it turned into a family evening running every which way.  I love my kids a ton! I love being with them! But I just need a break and some couple time once in a while. We don't have time for winks or cuddling or even an evening out on our anniversary. This is ridiculous! Our priorities our out of whack!  I am going to reign this problem in starting now!

A Love That Multiplies

I just finished reading the Duggar's book, "A Love That Multiplies." It was full of great tips and insights. Most importantly it inspired me to turn even more of my life over to Heavenly Father, to pray more earnestly and specifically, and to speak more of Christ with my children. It inspired me to step up and be a better example for my children, to answer softly when angry, and to love more fully. I'm grateful for this wonderful family and their dedication to God and each other. I'm a better person because of trying to follow their example.

Different Kind of Education

I love how the kids have enough time to get sleep & they aren't stressed out of their minds. We go our own pace. We are reading Tale of Two Cities. We watch documentaries on everything. We discuss everything! We go on tons of field trips. We learn to use new tech. I hope we are giving our kids an education that will lead to their being able to raise and care for wonderful families of their own & be an influence for good on the world.

St. George Lake to Lake Relay

52.6 miles - 2 legs each
Tons of fun!!

Jaremy's Job

Jaremy's new job is fun and provides for our family's needs now and has great potential to grow along with our family's growing needs.  We are so blessed! Heavenly Father provides the way! When we try to keep his commandments he magnifies our efforts and prepares the way! It's just like Nephi testified (1 Ne. 3:7). I love the Lord.

Great Family Home Evening

Last night Jaremy gave a marvelous lesson in Family Home Evening. He assured the kids no matter where we move we still have Heavenly Father and the Gospel and our family. He read "If You Could Hie to Kolob" to them and taught us about our heavenly home. The Spirit was here while he bore his testimony and shared his desire to be a better husband, father, and person. I was filled with love for this amazing man. I want to be better because and for him too.

After the lesson and songs we took the kids to the Herriman Recreation Center to swim. Holy Cow! I have never seen such an indoor pool. Waterslides, a playground in the wading pool with fountains galore, a lazy river, diving boards, floating pads to run across, money bars over the water, and a lap pool. Jaremy and I couldn't believe it! We were worried we were spoiling our children.

Elder Oaks warned this area about worldliness and entertaining ourselves to death. It is visible everywhere. It's going to be a bit more challenging to raise a family that is in the world but not of the world down in this Salt Lake Valley. But we will just have to guard ourselves against worldliness, meaningless busyness, and selfishness. With the Lord's help we can navigate through the seas of big box stores and McMansions without losing our souls.

Riverton

We now live in Riverton.  Jaremy and the kids were amazing! They packed, loaded, unloaded over & over. I took care of Adelynn and Tank while they worked their guts out.  Heavenly Father helped us find a place to live and blessed us with safety & strength while we moved.  It is exciting to experience new things.  I'm excited to get to know the area and find new places & people to love.  The sun is shining in the windows the world is a happy place even if we are in the middle of brown suburbia.

The picture is our view out of the house.

I get to homeschool the kids again! I'm so excited about that!  In fact, I'm extremely pumped to explore & learn with them!

Moving

Jaremy was blessed with a new job! We are grateful Heavenly Father is giving us this new opportunity.  Now we just need to find a place to live, pack, clean,& head down there.  Exciting!!

Letter to Julie Norman

Dear Julie,

How are you? I hope very well! The other day I was sitting on the couch nursing our new baby when I thought of you. I thought of the time when you called me just to make sure I was doing alright. That day I was fine, but your kind thoughtfulness stayed with me. I knew if I need to talk or get some encouragement I could call you. Thank you so much for your friendship! I miss you!

By the way, that is far from the only time you have popped into my head. Whenever I feel things aren’t going according to plan and I feel myself start to question the Lord’s timing, your wonderful patience comes to mind. I am quickly humbled as I remember how you have trusted the Lord timing your entire life. Julie, you have influenced and inspired so many by loving the Lord with all your heart and waiting upon Him. Thank you for your powerful example!

I hope everything is going well in Paradise. Paradise is one of the most beautiful places in the world where the dearest people in the world live. Give my best to your amazing family!

Sincerely and With Lots of Love,



Jennie Butler
225 E. 200 N.
Logan, Utah 84321
435-770-1565
jj8.butler@gmail.com

P.S. I also think of you whenever I reach for a good book.

Isn't wonderful to have the blessing of dear friends and beautiful examples in our lives. Heavenly Father truly loves us!

Team Captain - Jessica

We are training as a family for a 50-mile relay from one lake to another in St. George in a month. Jessica is our Team Captain. Our team name is Fasto Bohunkus. Jessica has taken the job pretty seriously. She's had us watch an inspirational movie clip. She's made running assignments, tracking charts, and maps. She's made us commit to running our miles by asking each person, "Will you run 13 miles this week?" We each said yes, so we had to keep our word. She has given us a hard time (joked around with us) when we were a bit behind. She challenged our team to run to Salt Lake City this week in miles. But the most motivational part of her leadership has been her example. She ran long and hard before anyone else really took it serious. She ran when it was late and she was tired. She put in the miles while the rest of us did other things. That got my attention and respect. We couldn't let her do it alone. So we put in our miles too. In fact, Benjamin and I finished our last mile after 10:30pm on Saturday. It felt great to meet a goal as a family. The little kids ran like crazy and made up for some miles Jaremy didn't run. We made in to Salt Lake. Now we are working on running to St. George in the next 3.5 weeks. It's lots of fun! Jaremy was the first one out of the gate this morning. He got up before 5:30am and ran on the treadmill. The kids gave him a rough time about not running all his miles last week. It's so funny to watch them tease their dad. He is serious about it now! I can't let my team down. I've got to be able to run a bit faster so I'm not the flat tire. I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has given me this amazing team - my family.

Courageous

We watched a Christian movie this week that stressed the importance of fathers being men of God and leading their families spiritually. It was a great reminder to stand tall and walk with God. I'm grateful for any reminder to do this and any encouragement along the way. I'm also grateful that Jaremy does this so well. His family is his top priority. Every year he becomes a more powerful example, teacher, and leader to our family. Every year he seems to take it even more seriously. I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed our family with a righteous priesthood holder who honors the covenants he has made.

Formal Job Interview

Jaremy has a formal job interview with GoalZero today. We are all excited! Yesterday they called and asked him to come down again today. Jaremy felt so awkward asking for the day off at ICON. He couldn't exactly say, "I have a job interview with another company." He is honest and responsible, so the whole situation was stressful. If you take vacation you are supposed to arrange it 2 weeks in advance. Jaremy wasn't about to lie and say he was sick or something. I told him to just say, "I'm not able to come in tomorrow. Can I work late or come in on Saturday to keep on top of things." But Jaremy still felt uncomfortable with that. So we prayed. The kids and I prayed several times for him while he was at work. That afternoon Jaremy's boss gave him a huge last minute project that would require him to work late. Nothing unusual in that. But then he said something he has never said before, even when Jaremy has worked all day and night and day and night. He said, "If you get this done tonight, don't worry about coming in tomorrow. See you on Monday!" Wow!!!! That was a miracle and answer to prayers. Heavenly Father truly cares about the details of our lives. He opens ways and answers prayers. He gives us strength and courage. I love Him so much! I want to follow Him and be worthy of the multitude of tender mercies He pours down upon us.

I also love Jaremy deeply. The kids and I are praying for him all day today while he is interviewing.

Temple Across the Street

Adelynn has been on a great napping schedule for a couple weeks; she sleeps from the time the kids get out of school until dinner. That gives me time to exercise, shower, fix dinner, help kids with homework, and dash across the street to the temple. Because of having a new baby yesterday was my first time back at the temple in several months. I'm so grateful I could go. Jessica and Benjamin prepared a bunch of names for the temple so we are going to have to get busy.  Also our family has a goal to attend each of the temples in Utah this year. Neat, huh! What a blessing to have a family who is worthy to enter the temple and desires to attend. I'm grateful we can just skip across the street and get to work.

Career Challenges

Jaremy feels he is at a dead-end at his job.  It provides great for our current needs, but we have a growing family with growing needs.  So should he go back to school?  How would we survive while he did?  What should our next move be? He would like to go back to school finish his engineering degree and get a business degree and an architecture degree.  Then he would like to run his own developing firm, creating eco-friendly neighborhoods with community gardens, maybe even a central farm with a manure digester. Awesome! Cash is the only challenge. Right now it seems like an overwhelming obstacle, but I really believe we can do it!  Heavenly Father helps us reach our goals.  Just wait and see; this will have an amazing ending!

Homeschooling Digital

I'm so grateful for tons of online educational games, worksheets, and information.  Heavenly Father has made things, so easy and convenient. Not to mention fun.

2011 Sum Up

Last night for Family Home Evening we reminisced about 2011. We all agreed it was one of the best years ever.

We camped in Snow Canyon (St. George) under the stars in the sand.

We went to Oregon and Washington with a RV trailer and had a blast. We drove across every bridge possible several times. We hiked in the forests and along the beach. We fed seals, explored northwest neighborhoods, went to the maritime museum, played in the sand, flew kites, and just had a wonderful time.

We went back to St. George for Jaremy, Jessica, Benjamin, and Moroni's first half-marathon.

We went to Moab.

We backpacked into Dry Canyon and White Pine. I was five months pregnant for the White Pine adventure. I took the kids up with most of the gear all the way up the 4.5 miles to the lake. Jaremy was supposed to meet us up there later that evening. He had to work late and came up in the middle of the night. He never found us in the dark. We had a memorable night of attempting to sleep on the cold hard ground, praying for Jaremy's safety, and trying to keep a tiny fire going with twigs. We ate Power Bars to try to stay awake while we waited for Jaremy. It was amazing to find out we are tougher than we thought. I slept a bit in the dirt next to a dying fire under the stars while I was five months pregnant thinking the whole time my husband was out in the mountains somewhere with a twisted ankle being eaten by a mountain lion. Oh, did I mention one of the kids had trail diarrhea in their pants and we had no extra clothes. That was an awesome adventure!!!

We discovered Green Canyon and fell in love with it. We hiked Jardine Juniper several times or at least part of it. Jaremy and the oldest kids took up mountain biking. This was the year we started running. We enjoyed sundae runs, trail runs, early morning runs, vacation runs, etc. We pretty much lived in the mountains during the spring, summer, and fall.

We volunteered at the American West Heritage Center and played pioneers and train driver.

We gardened with the Nielsens at their farm in Paradise.

We spoke in Church in our new ward. Natalie was baptized. Jessica started high school and began flirting with boys. Well, if you can consider spilling apple cider while you are talking to boys as flirting. Benjamin camped like crazy and was an amazing member of his deacon's quorum. The boys started their snow removal business. Jaremy traveled a lot for work. Hyrum learned to read. Ella and Tank became cuter and cuter. Adelynn was joyously welcomed into our family. Dad got a laptop. Mom got a tablet.

We had an amazing year! The best ever! They just keep getting better! Heavenly Father has blessed us beyond description!!!

Grandmas

Jaremy and I both have a grandmother still living. On Sunday we went to visit them. Grandma Martena Butler is in a nursing home in Brigham City. Grandma Zola Keller still lives at home in Honeyville. They both mean a lot to us. They have given us their love unconditionally since we were born. They have made our lives richer by their kindness, food, smiles, hugs, compliments, encouragement, perspective, cookies, and conversations. It seems we could do no wrong in their eyes. And because of this we didn't want to do anything to disappoint them. Both Grandmas are old now. Both wonder why they are still living. Both still try to be positive, but the golden years are laced with lead.

Neither grandma has ever been, shall we say, driven. As far as I can tell they loved and served their families, but kind of let life take them along. Now they are old and both say ready to die. I have seen other people age differently. They seem gun-hoe right up to the end. They are excited about life, serving others, and improving upon themselves until they kick the bucket. It seems they enjoy life, even with the trials age brings.

I have planned my life until I'm 113 years old. I need at least that much time to make a dent in all the things I want to do. I have an extensive bucket list. Of course, I understand when you don't feel well, or hear or see or touch or smell or taste well it is hard to feel enthusiastic about anything. But I want to push myself and make a difference until I slip on the banana peel into the grave. Of course, I might realize aging is way harder than I thought and find our grandmas did better than I will. But I hope to be healthier and more active at their age, because I'm a lot healthier and more active than they were at my age. But life is unpredictable, but I love it!!! And once again I'm so grateful for the love and kindness these two dear women have showered on us. That is much more important than having goals for yourself until you are 113. I hope my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren feel as loved by me as I do them.

Jessica's Home

Jessica is staying home today.  She is awesome! On her birthday she can get her driver's permit. I can't believe it! She has spent the day making orange rolls, doing the little girl's hair, studying driving laws, and helping Ella read.  She lives her life to bless others.  She is so Christ-like; she is a great example to me.

New Year's Resolutions

We have spent a lot of time as a family setting new year's resolutions for our family and as individuals. Then we've spent significant time determining how we are going to meet these goals. I hope we can teach our children how to stretch themselves and meet challenges. Of course, a huge part of teaching is inspiring by example. That means the bar is high for Jaremy and I. We must keep ourselves determined, enthusiastic, hopeful, and successful. It's so exciting and invigorating to have goals and to advance those goals. We've also tried to set goals that are important and accomplish more than just doing something hard. We've tried to align them with our divine purposes here on earth. I know Heavenly Father will help us bring to pass much righteousness and help inspire us to increase our self-discipline and resolve in moving forth honorable purposes. For this I'm most grateful and turn to Him for that assistance.

Month's Shopping

I am grateful to the Lord that we have enough money to feed and cloth our family.  Today we went shopping for the month.  That's a lot of stuff for a family of ten.  Everyone helped.  It's a huge job, but it helps us stick to the budget ($900) and save time and money on trips throughout the month.  We've only meet the budget one other month and have never meet or goal of only one shopping day a month.  But we have the ambition to try again this year.  It's a very challenging goal, but we will accomplish it!

Unschooling

I love structure, lists, and measurable results.  But a lot of learning also takes place when I let the kids do their own thing.  Hyrum drew helicopters and got excited about online subtraction speed drills this morning.  He raced the clock a lot longer than I would have scheduled him to practice.  He totally enjoyed it and improved by cutting his time in half.  Then he found a pretzel recipe in the Friend magazine.  Now he is reading and following the recipe.  We will see how it goes.  Maybe I should try this more often.  Of course, facilitating these activities takes a lot of work and patience too.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father lets me try new things and choose so much of what and how I learn.  I should extend that blessing to my children more often.

Politics

I am so grateful for fellow patriots, particularly those who have made great sacrafices to run for the GOP presidential nomination this year.  I was rooting for Michele Bachmann, but she left the race today.  She was a smart constitional conservative.  We really could benefit from this amazing woman's convictions, experience, and wisdom.  I am so grateful to live in this beautiful, free nation under God.  I pray we can live worthy of his blessings.

Returning Home

It's great to be home! We had a challenging drive home; however. Tank's stomach flu came back and we had throw-up and diarrhea everywhere. It's a trick to clean it up in the van. Not so fun. But still it is so much easier than the pioneers had it when they were sick. We were warm. We had Clorox wipes, baby wipes, tons of hand sanitizer, paper towels, garbage bags, extra clothes, and great kids that helped Jaremy and I take care of messes and Adelynn while we tried to clean up. We had practice in not freaking out. I just reminded myself when I faced a carseat full of diarrhea, Tank and Adelynn crying, and Ella insisting she needed to go "number two" right now that things would be better in 20 minutes. And sure enough. After 20 minutes the disgusting mess was cleaned up, Adelynn was nursing, Ella was in a rest stop, and Tank's tummy was feeling better. I lost my cool for a moment a couple of times, but Heavenly Father helped me feel love and compassion instead of panic. He helped me keep things in perspective. He helped remind me this less than ideal situation could turn into a positive one where my kids felt my love and concern. He also helped remind me it wasn't that big of a deal. So what if we spent an hour or two of the five-day trip dealing with unpleasantries. I was grateful I wasn't sick too, because it is extremely hard to take care of the sick when you are sick yourself. We had an amazing vacation. We were blessed with supplies to handle the situation. We have great kids who are blessed with overall health and strength. I'm grateful we had the stomach flu. It gives us the opportunity to show love and compassion. It gives us the opportunity to focus on all the wonderful blessings we have. It helps us remember how nice it is to be healthy and not take it for granted.

Moab is Marvelous

We have had great family bonding time for the last five days in Moab.  So many times Jaremy and I have exchanged smiles that mean we have the cutest kids and the best family in the world.  Our kids keep us laughing. We love sharing this amazing place with them.  There are so many people that your Arches alone or with just one other person.  We have a party we take around with us.  We have tons more fun than anyone else in the Park.  Being with my family is heaven on earth.  Yes, we've had our moments of complaining, stomach flu, and crying, but even then I just love being in the van with my family.  And hiking with my family is one of my most favorite things to do in life.  I've been very emotional several times when I contemplate how blessed I am as well as my family.