Homecoming

Jaremy had another business trip for the last five days. It has been a difficult five days. We are still in the disarray that follows a move. We don't have hot water, internet, a dryer, locks on the doors, etc.  I love Ivy 'n Pine, but because she's so old it feels like we are flirting with danger. We still haven't covered all the lead paint, replaced ancient wiring, removed asbestos, or made a good fire escape. Then there are the normal things we are facing like van repairs, gardens that need to be put in right now, and a couple of children who must be feeling insecure about moving and it comes out as disobedience.

I've struggled with my emotions and figuring out what to do first. I've disappointed myself with how easily I am stressed, how quickly I murmur, how selfish and angry I can be, and how I quickly forget to trust & praise the Lord in all things.

Even though I've been lonely for Jaremy I am so grateful to be surrounded by my amazing children. They are so capable, funny, supportive, and amazing. Most of the time I feel like they are the ones raising me. They are so strong! I want to be tougher (less prone to whine or rage at stressors) for them and because of them.  Kids, if you ever read this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Thank you for lifting my spirits with your understanding, kindnesses, humor, cuteness, dances, hugs, and laughter. Thank you for singing hymns with me and not making fun of me when I cry while I sing. Thank you for lifting my burdens by pick axing, painting, and planting. By making dinner, playing with little ones, running things here and there, scrubbing the old condo and the new house, shopping, assembling strollers and wagons and electronics. You are my dear friends! Surely you have all experienced loneliness, stress, and fear because of this move, but you have handled it with more strength, courage, maturity, and selflessness than your mother. You have given me courage when I was afraid, hope when I felt like quitting, and a good laugh when I felt stressed. You are truly my examples! You remind me of the Savior through your submissiveness, service, and love. I've seen you turn to Him daily and in difficult moments. I know little and big miracles have happened because of your faith. When I grow up I want to be like you!
Again, thank you! I love you all ever so much!

I've seen the hand of the Lord in my life this week though my sweet children's hands for they are His.