Hard Night

Last night the only thing that would give a bit of comfort to my itchy body was walking.  So I walked about 9 miles.  My whole body was so tired, but every time I tried to lie down I couldn't take the itching.  So finally at 1am I was able to get some relief from a hot bath (which in the long run probably makes the itching worse).  Then I could sleep for an hour at a time.  I guess that was enough, because I'm up and functioning this morning.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father is blessing me with enough energy to take care of my family.

Jaremy had to stay an extra day in New York.  This is also a blessing in a way.  At least he could sleep in a quiet hotel without a wife tossing and turning and getting up and down throughout the night.  I feel so bad when I fatigue the two of us.

Benjamin has been reading "Lone "Survivor"  about a Navy SEAL story.  He has told us about how when things are tough for them in training or on a mission they have to stay in the moment.  Deal with the agony one breath at a time.  Not think about past or future suffering, just focus on the present.  So I've been trying to do that when I feel like I'd like to just numb my entire body for the next four weeks.  Just one breath at a time.  Just one step at a time.  I pray for Heavenly Father's strength to help me get through this.  It's not Navy SEAL training, but it is extremely difficult for me.

Deep Relaxation

Finally, after a fitful night I was able to fall into a deep sleep around 4:30am.  So when I woke up 2.5 hours later I felt so relaxed and good.  My legs were comfortable and I wasn't itching.  So I thought it would be the perfect time to practice my hypnobirthing recordings.  It was.  I was able to stay so calm and comfortable.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father gives me respites from discomfort, pain, and itching.  I'm grateful He won't ask me to do anything that is too hard for me.  If I can just remember that when I feel like it is too hard.  Heavenly Father is just helping me stretch.  He will only give me what I can handle even if I think I can't He knows I can.  I just need to be submissive and humble.  I also am grateful for this opportunity to really try to eat and exercise right.  

Only One Month Left

The last half of my pregnancy has arrived.  I'm so excited to meet this little guy!  I'm going to exercise and eat perfectly so I can be more healthy and comfortable during this last stretch.  When I'm itchy, breathless, twitchy, or in pain I'm going to focus on the beauty and wonder around me.  I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother in Zion.  Sometimes that means going through some discomfort and fatigue (or a lot) to help these little ones into and through mortality.  I am grateful I get to be the one that is close to them and can enable them.  I love my little ones so much!  They are worth any sacrifice!

Learning Compassion

I went to the doctor yesterday.  I came away so frustrated.  I have had a real hard time just getting through hour by hour.  Pain, itching, restlessness, breathlessness, fear, and tons of discomfort makes the last part of pregnancy almost enough to drive me insane.  I need to be more submissive and selfless.  I need to remember why I'm challenged.  There's actually a baby in there.  I'm not just hurting without a reason.

I've oversensitive lately because I'm pregnant and experiencing things that are pushing me to the end of my strength and endurance.  It's good though!  Pain and suffering can make one tough and compassionate.  I hope I can learn that and not just go through it.  I hope I will be a bit more compassionate and sympathetic to those around me.  I hope I can be less selfish and more concerned about others.  Besides Heavenly Father blesses me with recesses from pain and discomfort.  It is not constant.  I can get to sleep eventually and can feel comforted.

When I am experiencing pain I often feel angry, self-centered, and sorry for myself.  This is pathetic!  I pray I can be more submissive and meek.  I pray I can think of others instead of myself.  I really don't have it that hard.  Others suffer infinitely more.  I pray I can go through whatever Heavenly Father asks me to with love and meekness.  Heavenly Father can help change my heart.  For this I'm grateful.

California Trip

Jaremy was able to take the three oldest on a business trip with him to California this week.  They are going to have such a great time and make memories to last forever.  I'm so glad Jaremy was able to do this.  Heavenly Father has blessed our family with an awesome husband and father leading our family.

Today I get to go to the doctor and see how things are progressing.  The end of pregnancy is so difficult.  I just need to be submissive and humble and roll with the punches.  I need to be strong, selfless, and patient.  I pray Heavenly Father will help me become closer to Him and more like Him through this experience.

Irrigation Agreement

Jaremy and I always differ in how we want to plant and irrigate the garden.  This year we both tried to understand what the other thought and felt.  We came up with a better plan than either one of us had had previously.  It is going to be the best garden ever!  And probably one of our biggest.  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father helps us find peace as we slow down and take the time to sincerely understand and care about one another.

Garden

Today we are going to weed and plant the early garden stuff!  I'm so excited!  I love gardening!  It will be a little more difficult to bend down and such, but I have a ton of help from the kids and Jaremy.  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father blesses us with sunny, gardening days!  I'm getting hungry just thinking about all the veggies and fruit we are going to plant!

Today I have laid down the law about what needs to be done before breakfast.  We have had the age old problem of motivation around here, so we are becoming more disciplined.  Everyone must have their chore charts, sunshine jobs, and homemaking jobs done before eating.  They must also have story/song time, scripture reading, memorizing passages, and workout done before breakfast.  I'm feeling a little faint myself this morning, but I don't care!  We must stay focused and get things done!

My Dreams

I have dreams of having and adopting 21 children.  A loving family can bless an individual so much!  I'm so grateful I have one.  I wish I could become rich and do this.  However, today I read Jacob 4:10:

Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.

My true dream is to do whatever the Lord would have me do.  I pray I can be in tune with the Spirit enough to know what that is.  He is full of love for all His children and will guide me in how He wants me to help them.

Meeting Success

Jaremy had a great meeting where he told the president of the company his vision for the company.  Jaremy also laid out how he could help the company get through the white water.  He also explained that he needed a significant pay raise or he would have to look somewhere else.  It was good that Jaremy could show that he is very aware of the big picture, the future, and the day-to-day processes.  I know the company wants to increase his pay; I just hope it can and does!  But no matter what, Heavenly Father is most aware of our needs now and in the future, so I'm not worried!

Work Meeting

Jaremy is at a meeting with the heads of Goal Zero right now.  I pray and pray it goes wonderfully well for all concerned.  I'm nervous and excited!  I pray Jaremy can present what he wants in a way that benefits the company and himself.  Things have to change at work to make the products better and safer.  I'm sure they will support Jaremy in making this happen.  His salary also has to improve significantly.  Our large family needs a ton more than they currently pay him.  They can't keep adding responsibilities without compensating him.  And if not we will be on the job market.  That could be exciting too!  I wonder what the Lord has in store for us.  I pray we can follow His will and help build His kingdom anyway He wants us too.

Only seven more weeks until the baby is due!  Of course, that seems like an eternity right now!  But we will make it!  Not only make it but be at a healthy weight and very strong by that time.  I will have walked/wogged over 170 miles before the baby comes!  We will have the garden planted, the house sparkling and ready, an increase of income or a new job, and hypnobirthing mastered.  We will also have gone to the temple at least 3 more times and have fellowshipped and befriended many more people.  And then there is the normal school and development progress.  It will be a busy, wonderful seven weeks!  And maybe it won't even last seven weeks!  I'm grateful for the work Heavenly Father has granted us in building His kingdom and keeping His commandments!

Hypnobirthing

I'm starting to "train" for giving birth.  I listen to hypnobirthing recordings and train myself to go into deep relaxation.  It is the best kind of childbirth!  I also am increasing my walking and yoga in hopes of getting into better shape to make labor and delivery easier.  I'm so excited to meet this new little one!  Heavenly Father has blessed us so much!

Family Hike

We found more trails in the foothills by Dot's Knoll.  It was so fun to hike around as a family.  As we were finishing our hike the full moon came up.  Later at 1:00am we got up and looked at the full blood moon.  It was pretty, but eerie.  It's so fun to have these memories and experiences together.  Heavenly Father has blessed us to enjoy His creations together.

Martindale Family Reunion

Jaremy's mom, aunt, cousin, and some of his siblings spent Saturday and Sunday afternoons and evenings with us.  We had such a good time together!  What a blessing to reunite and share laughs and memories together.  We only had seven extra people, but our little cottage was packed.  We want to eventually be able to host parties for 60 or more, so we will probably have to get a bigger house before our children are all grown.  Of course, we might only need to host for 30-40 unless we have 21 children of our own.  Heavenly Father knows all things!  I'm so grateful He lets us get together and enjoy one another's company.

Peaceful Evening

Jaremy and I took an evening walk by Day Break Lake yesterday for part of our date night.  I long for the country and for open space, but it was still peaceful and beautiful despite being in the middle of suburbia.  The red-winged black birds were calling to each other, the creek was bubbling, ducks were trying to settle down for the night, daffodils were everywhere, and the air was warm and calm.  It was very nice.  Someday we will have money to at least visit the country again.  Maybe we will even move there.  Maybe not.  Either way Heavenly Father blesses our lives with many, many moments of beauty and peace throughout each day!

Mrs. Mike

The kids and I have been listening to the book Mrs. Mike.  It is so good.  We love to enjoy it together.  Heavenly Father has blessed us with access to great literature.  We are so blessed!

Time Limit

Last night we decided to give Goal Zero a time limit.  By the first of June they must give Jaremy the raise he has more than earned or he will go elsewhere.  The level of stress, talent, skill, and time his job requires should pay double what he is getting.  So if they can't or won't pay what he is worth he will get it somewhere else.  We wonder what Heavenly Father has in store for us!  We can't wait to follow His will no matter what it is!  He has always blessed us and given us wonderful opportunities to become more like Him.  "Trust the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths."

Marvelous Morning

It's a gorgeous morning!  We had leftover dutch oven potatoes and dutch oven peachy french toast for breakfast.  Natalie made them yesterday.  We also had some donuts a neighbor brought last night.  It was a fun, unusual breakfast.  Don't worry I actually fed the baby some healthy stuff when I drank my big green shake.

It is supposed to get up to the 70s today!  We are going to go hiking today.  Everyone is excited!  So while it is still a bit chilly we will quickly do our chores and school work.

Last night we had a wonderful family home evening where we discussed how our family could follow the counsel and guidance we received in General Conference.  We are all really excited to do missionary, family history, and temple work!  We have a few really amazing plans!  I'm so grateful for my sweet children and their anxiousness to be engaged in the work of salvation and obedience.  Heavenly Father has blessed us so much!

Good Morning!

We had such a wonderful weekend listening to General Conference.  What a blessing to be instructed by the Lord through His servants, living prophets!  I can't wait to reread and act upon what we've been taught.  I love the Spirit that accompanies General Conference.  Heavenly Father is very aware of each of us and the times and circumstances we live in.  He will guide us through the turbulence ahead.  Isn't that a great comfort?!

Date Night

Every Thursday Jaremy and I get away on a date night.  It is such a treat to visit and relax together.  I love Jaremy so much!

Last night we talked about whether we should stay or try for a different job.  Our future needs are huge.  We have always been so blessed by the Lord.  We all were so surprised that we can live with just one bathroom in a tiny house.  It's been a blessing that has helped us develop a bit more patience and closeness.  However, this house might not always meet our needs.  We will have to see.

We both agreed we can easily "hasten the work" right here in Utah.  There are many, many missionary opportunities even within the our ward boundaries.  Not to mention family history and temple work can roll forward as well.  Also our children are about to start leaving on their missions.  So we don't need to move to "hasten the work."

Our family loves hiking and camping.  Although we are further from these things than in Logan we are still fairly close to the beautiful mountains.  So we don't need to move for this reason.

We both would feel more at ease if we were more financially secure.  It would be nice if we could also have extra money to travel to see extended family.  They are scattered all over the United States.  It won't be long before our own children move away.  It would be nice to be able to visit them too.  We will work hard, spend carefully and see what the Lord has in store for us.  We will be happy no matter what!

We might also need to take care of aging parents in the near future.  We know missions, braces, and educations cost a ton.  Our dear family also eats a ton, especially if we have company.  And, of course, we love to get together with family, friends, and future friends.  It's a great way to bond and fellowship.  So company will only increase.  So the future is going to be exciting!  Heavenly Father will bless us to do His work in the way He wants us to.  I'm so grateful for this assurance.

5 Hours in Bed

Last night I was experiencing another round of extreme itching everywhere.  Sleep is impossible when this happens.  I tried an antihistamine and was able to sleep for a 5 hour chunk.  Wow!  I haven't slept more than a couple hours at a time in forever.  It felt so good!  I'm grateful Heavenly Father gives us relief.  I felt I had been pushed to my limits.  I'm grateful for a good night's sleep.  That way I can be an active, engaged mother this morning and throughout the day!

Hiking

The city has made some trails on a nearby knoll.  It is a rather bald hill, but it is still nice to get out in the fresh air and be on a trail.  It has a great view of the valley.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father helps us find things that we enjoy.  Our family is addicted to hiking and the mountains, so this was a great find.  Most hikes are an hour a way, so this is great!