Jordan's Funeral

It was good to visit with family at Jordan Lyle's funeral. I'm grateful there is no true sorrow except sin. I'm grateful I don't have to judge. I'm grateful for my low drama life and associates. I don't regard drama as sincere, but I'm sure it's just a different way of expressing sincere feelings. I am grateful these extended family things aren't everyday. I'm not very good at them. That's because I'm not as Christlike, humble, charitable, forgiving, and non-judgmental as I should be.  I pray the Lord will give me the only gift that keeps me from being worthless:  charity. I struggle to love people naturally and freely. I automatically judge and get annoyed by people who believe or live differently than what I deem right. How disgustingly arrogant of me! Then I just want to leave. I have to totally stop myself analyze my feelings and sins. Then I have to make a labored decision to love others and make sure I am helping them feel valued, encouraged, and accepted. It is ridiculous how this is such a difficult, unnatural process for me. The Lord does help me change my attitude, but I someday (like tomorrow or a decade ago) I wish unconditional love and concern would just flow out of my heart without having to be reasoned, prodded, and prayed out.

Home for the Holidays

We have totally enjoyed relaxing at home this Christmas season. We've read, played games, swam, played in the snow, etc.  It's been nice to just have loss of family time. I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has bleed us with down time.  After a break it feels great to get back to work!

Moving Grandpa

Jaremy, Benjamin, Moroni, and Hyrum are moving Grandpa Michael today to his little rental house in Garland. I hope they are safe. I hate the thought of them getting hurt while moving something heavy. I also hope Michael doesn't pawn too much stuff onto them. He's a packrat. I'm glad I couldn't go. I'm a minimalist. I get annoyed and disgusted by hoarding. Whenever I help move someone or visit someone with a lot of stuff I go home and start throwing things away.

You have just got to read, "Lose 200 Pounds This Weekend" by Don Aslet. Don makes a very persuasive case for getting rid of junk. It holds you back in so many ways. If you have decided what is most important in life and have created a plan to get there, get rid of what you don't need to accomplish the plan. 

For instance, I got rid of tons of knitting supplies. Leaning to knit and knitting is way down on my priority list, so why store the stuff. Clear room(physically and mentally) to focus on top priorities. Having extra stuff around just distracts from what really needs to be done. Just because something is fun, develops a talent, or takes up time doesn't give it the right to be in your life. Life is short. You have a very limited time to serve and accomplish what God has sent you to earth to do. Money and other resources are also limited. So many people suffer in want while we buy more stupid, unnecessary stuff.

I can see so many people who are owned by their junk. It ruins their relationships, jobs, health, wealth, productivity, enjoyment, mobility,and purpose. They worship stuff.  They are continually shopping and paying for junk,  thinking about it, moving it, cleaning around it , fixing it, discussing it, storing it, and finding it.   They spend more time with their junk than they do praying, going to the temple, reading scriptures, or serving others.  Family and friends become unable to visit, especially if they have children.  Knick- knacks have become more important than children, grandchildren, friends, spouses, or anyone else. They eventually get to the point they can't handle it all alone. So they call neighbor kids, elders' quorums, or their own kids and grandkids to help them sort, store, transport, sell, or deal with their junk. They spread their problems and junk onto others. Or they die and leave insane amounts of stuff for others to go through, get rid of, and oddly, fight over.  Disgusting!

This is a huge problem with so many today. Jaremy and I consider ourselves minimalist in this time and country. However, even we can do much better. I get a high from dejunking. I think I'm going to go throw some stuff out. It's a great way to clear the mind.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father has led me to minimalism.  But I pray He will lead me to unconditionally love those who like their stuff.  I'm way too judgmental and mean. I get on a high horse when it comes to some people. I know this is way worse than collecting junk. I pray the Lord will change my heart. Not about the junk, but about the people. I pray He will help me sincerely love everyone.  I wish getting rid of a hard, judgmental heart was as easy as getting rid of stuff.

Upside-Down

We live in a crazy time. In a time when good is called evil and evil is called good. Anyone who stands for freedom, liberty, Christ, The Constitution, virtue, chastity, or honesty is persecuted, shamed, audited, and shut down.  Times are just as prophesied, yet still such wickedness and acceptance of such is shocking.
I'm eternally grateful we have the Gospel of Jesus Christ to guide us in this insane world. We know where to stand, we know how to act, we know of God's love and Atonement, we know we need to repent and we know how.  We know families are ordained of Good and can be eternal. What joy and happiness, what clarity and guidance!

Gingerbread Houses

Last night we had fun at cub scouts building Graham cracker ginger bread houses.  The boys made a big mess and lived it. We had terrific leaders that really pitched in with set up, construction, and clean-up. It would have been pretty overwhelming if it had just been me, but we had four other leaders and 15 boys.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father has helped me to change my perspective on my calling. I know it is what he wants me to do; therefore, I can do it. I can get through crazy evenings of trying to for everything in, because He will help and guide me. I can look for chances to share the love of God and my testimony of His Son with the cubs. So as things get a bit crazy around dinner time when I need to be leaving I take great comfort in knowing this is what I need to be doing and I just try to balance it all the best I can. The Lord helps me stay calm and kind. I'm so grateful for His gentle guidance.

Dear Natalie

Dear Natalie,

Happy Birthday!!!  I can't believe you are eleven.  It seems like just yesterday you were born.
You have been a glowing light in our family ever since that first day.  You are always so cheerful and optimistic.  Heavenly Father knew we needed the constant sunshine you give.

You are very aware of the needs of the family.  You quietly go around fixing meals, cleaning rooms, dressing toddlers, teaching little ones, giving massages, and doing whatever else you can to lift and help. You could run this household better than I can.  You have a tender spot for babies, children, the elderly, and anyone who needs comfort and help.  What would we do without you?!

You are brilliant!  You work hard in your school and love to learn.  You are very well organized and self-motivated.  You can plow through a to-do list and stick to hard tasks until they are completed.  You are a beautiful reader.  We all love listening to you.

Heavenly Father has blessed us so much by letting us have our dear, sweet Natalie in our family. Continue to stay close to the Lord by always praying (really praying), keeping the commandments, reading your scriptures, and remembering how much He loves you.

You are a beautiful girl!  Even if you were ugly on the outside your inner beauty would shine so brightly you would look beautiful no matter what.  You have an intense sparkle in those gorgeous eyes of yours that comes from the purity, happiness, and love in your heart.  Thank you for being such a wonderful example to all of us!  I love you ever so much!!! You are so very precious!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Love,

Mama

Strengthened

We are on the edge financially. The company Jaremy works for is doing great, but not as well as would be required for big raises and bonuses we need.  I'm grateful we know happiness doesn't depend on a bunch of stuff. However, I catch myself worrying about launching children on missions and to school. I worry about having space for extended family parties and such. I want to get out of debt and become self-reliant and prepared, but I feel we are skating on thin ice. I ask for the Lord's guidance and help, but I'm slow to recognize the answers. I'm grateful for challenges; they are great opportunities for growing and becoming strengthened. I pray I will be teachable enough to become what the Lord wants me to be and faithful enough to do what the Lord wants me to do.

Clothes Storage

I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father's prophets and their counsel about storage.  We have been so blessed by it. Today I was so uncomfortable in my normal clothes. I thought I would have to wait until next month when we had more money for maternity garments. But I checked my clothes storage and there were several new pairs of garments. What a blessing to be prepared!

Adelynn and Tank Tell All

T (4): Our family is great! We always share. And we are nice. That's all!
A (2): I got a horse for my birthday. I ate oranges today. They were yummy! I went to the store with Jessica and Benjamin. I did school today.
T: I did all my stars. That was a lot of work. Learning is fun! I like to learn how to read.
A: I like Duggars. I like to run around at the gym. I am fast!

I'm so grateful for my cute, precious, little ones sent from God.

Kitchen Help

My little ones are always in the kitchen with me.  Adelynn (2) helps me do the dishes, measure flour, and mix everything.  Yesterday she was "washing" dishes in the sink, having a big time! Water was running all over the counter, down the cabinets, and into a puddle on the floor.  I know most moms would not be happy about this, but I was thrilled.  She feels like she is contributing.  It is also great sensory/motor play and precious bonding time with Mom.  After she was done she helped wipe up all the water.  She has excellent cleaning habits.  She puts things away when she is done, she closes cabinet and drawer doors, and she throws things right in the garbage.  She is a terrific counter and knows what comes next in bread or pancake batter.  This all comes from being welcomed in the kitchen.  When I read what Jesus said, "I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see; even so shall ye do unto the world," (3 Nephi 18:25) I thought this is what my attitude should be toward my children.  They should be able to feel and see and do right along with me.  It is not always the cleanest or most convenient while they are tiny, but it is still cherished time.

Soon they are making bread and cinnamon rolls all by themselves by the age of six.  They are cooking lasagna, enchiladas, and chili from scratch unassisted at ten.  In fact, there isn't anything my Natalie (10) can't make by herself.  She throws together salads and fruit shakes.  She loves to get online and try new recipes.  It's so nice to have one of the kids beg to make a meal and know that they are perfectly capable of pulling it off.  And we don't use boxes or cans around here.  We cook from scratch.  Not only that they can leave the kitchen completely clean too.  We have 6 people in our family who can make huge batches of delicious bread all by themselves.  They grind the wheat and everything.  That saves our family tons of money and me tons of time.

It is really sweet to see the big kids eagerly welcome the little ones to work beside them as well.  They are terrific teachers and kind mentors.  When Jaremy encouraged me to take this approach with the kids when they were all small it was difficult and a bit overwhelming.  But how it has paid off!!! We all love being together in the kitchen.  We can whip up a meal in no time and clean up quickly as well.  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father invites us to learn by doing His work with Him.  I hope I can catch on as fast as my kids have in the kitchen.

Caroling

Yesterday we made cinnamon rolls to take to some of our neighbors. We were going to meet some people in or ward and share our testimony of Christ with them by singing Christmas songs.  However, the plates of cinnamon rolls took a lot longer than anticipated. I was worried all our work would be wasted because we wouldn't have time to deliver them before it was too late at night for visits. I yelled and scolded. I whined about why we try to do such things in the first place because our efforts often flop.  I complained about the cold, dark, snowy, dangerous night.  I worried about getting the van stuck in the snow and about finding addresses in the dark.  Let's just say I was miserable and made sure the kids were too. I wasn't exactly filled with the Spirit, just the opposite. How were we suppose to testify of Christ when I drove the Spirit out the window.  Of course, that made me feel even worse. Well, after a lot of apologizing, praying, and singing we made it through the night. Not our best night, but at least I didn't abandon ship. My poor kids! We visited seven houses. Tonight we will go out again. This time I will speak with love, kindness, patience, gratitude, optimism, and hope. I will keep the Holy Ghost as my companion. Tonight will be tons better! I'm so grateful for a family and a Heavenly Father who are willing to forgive me when I am terrible.

Pregnancy Challenges

I don't know what I was thinking, but I thought this pregnancy would be easier. It's not! My emotions have really been affected. I don't usually have a problem with this at all. But lately I have to fight tears, fight antisocial feelings (I mean I don't really care to be with anyone except my family), and fight a bit of melancholy.  I feel tired and hungry all the time. I've been putting on the weight. I just don't feel good or like myself much. Winter makes it all the more difficult. It's easier when you can get outside, soak in sunshine, and exercise and garden in the great outdoors for hours on end. It lifts the spirits and strengthens the body.  Stresses seem to be adding up and I don't have the physical or emotional energy to deal with them.  But I am so excited for the baby. All this trivial stuff just hopefully makes me more compassionate. I just have to push myself and do what I should, not what I feel like. Heavenly Father will help me get through the tough moments and phases that are part of every pregnancy. For this I am grateful. I also am grateful for the experience that has shown me these feelings and struggles are temporary. I do return to normal. And normal in my case is wonderful!

Morning Study

Outside World

I am so happily busy with my sweet family of almost eleven that I don't get out much.  I love teaching, cooking, cleaning, cuddling, reading, and exercising with my family.  However, I sometimes wonder if I'm doing enough in the Lord's kingdom outside my home.  I need to visit neighbors, attend the temple, reach out to those I'm called to serve, and share the gospel.  Now that morning sickness is over hopefully I can do more of that again.  I want to please the Lord and do His will, so I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and home and get to work.

Nap Time

I'm so grateful that I can take a break everyday and have a nap.  I think I would go insane without one.  It's been a great, productive morning.  But about this time everyday I grind to a halt.  My energy disappears and I become a vegetable.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father has given us this simple way to boost our energy and productivity again.  The little kids go up to their beds and Adelynn lies down with me.  She holds my hand as she goes to sleep.  We sleep for about an hour and a half.  When we wake up we are new people.  We are filled with energy and are ready to kick it into gear again.  Well, I'm going to go drag myself into bed.  Good night!

Puzzles

Last night we listened to Christmas music while we did two 300 piece puzzles together for family home evening.  We separated onto the two ends of the table: boys against girls.  We raced to see who could finish their puzzle first.  Boys won!  But we all had a great time! I hope all the kids remember these good times, cherish them, and continue spending lots of wonderful time with their future families.  Heavenly Father has blessed us so much!  We have all the things that are most important and tons of things that are just nice.  We are so richly blessed!

MIni Workouts

Just to get my blood flowing through out the day I do mini workouts (10 minutes).  We dance, walk, lift weights, whatever.  It feels great to move and stretch.  I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has given us little ways we can improve our health and energy.  I think I'll do one now before breakfast!