I must find and encourage the positive. I must be aware of my blood beginning to boil. I must push my pause button and pray earnestly. I must choose the right and good and kind. I must imagine a better solution than anger, frustration, and explosion. I must use my independent will to live that solution. Soon my patience will grow. Soon I will feel the Spirit in our home more. Soon our the atmosphere and culture of our family will change. Mothers determine so much of the mood. That's why we've been struggling. I can change!! I will try earnestly to be like Jesus!!! Heavenly Father is right there to help me!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Independent Will
I've had a hard time these last few months keeping my temper under control. Pregnancy, fatigue, seven children, and lack of discipline have made it difficult. I sometimes feel so out of control and like a victim of my children's disobedience, stupidity, confusion, and messes. The simple noise that usually I love about drives me batty. The whole atmosphere in our home is unraveling. Jaremy and the children don't appreciate it. I am really going to have to exercise some discipline and pray every moment for help. Because there is not a moments reprieve. It's constant "Mom, Mom!," "Tank is smearing Destin all over the kitchen!" "He pulled my hair!" Then there is the constant asking the same question over and over. Some children are a lot more annoying than others. But it all adds up to me feeling like I want to ring their necks. Even while I write this, "Mom, can I go on the treadmill? I'm not too little." for the hundredth time. "Tank is cutting his shirt!" Ella is coloring nicely, so I complimented her.
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