Jordan's Funeral

It was good to visit with family at Jordan Lyle's funeral. I'm grateful there is no true sorrow except sin. I'm grateful I don't have to judge. I'm grateful for my low drama life and associates. I don't regard drama as sincere, but I'm sure it's just a different way of expressing sincere feelings. I am grateful these extended family things aren't everyday. I'm not very good at them. That's because I'm not as Christlike, humble, charitable, forgiving, and non-judgmental as I should be.  I pray the Lord will give me the only gift that keeps me from being worthless:  charity. I struggle to love people naturally and freely. I automatically judge and get annoyed by people who believe or live differently than what I deem right. How disgustingly arrogant of me! Then I just want to leave. I have to totally stop myself analyze my feelings and sins. Then I have to make a labored decision to love others and make sure I am helping them feel valued, encouraged, and accepted. It is ridiculous how this is such a difficult, unnatural process for me. The Lord does help me change my attitude, but I someday (like tomorrow or a decade ago) I wish unconditional love and concern would just flow out of my heart without having to be reasoned, prodded, and prayed out.

Home for the Holidays

We have totally enjoyed relaxing at home this Christmas season. We've read, played games, swam, played in the snow, etc.  It's been nice to just have loss of family time. I'm so grateful Heavenly Father has bleed us with down time.  After a break it feels great to get back to work!

Moving Grandpa

Jaremy, Benjamin, Moroni, and Hyrum are moving Grandpa Michael today to his little rental house in Garland. I hope they are safe. I hate the thought of them getting hurt while moving something heavy. I also hope Michael doesn't pawn too much stuff onto them. He's a packrat. I'm glad I couldn't go. I'm a minimalist. I get annoyed and disgusted by hoarding. Whenever I help move someone or visit someone with a lot of stuff I go home and start throwing things away.

You have just got to read, "Lose 200 Pounds This Weekend" by Don Aslet. Don makes a very persuasive case for getting rid of junk. It holds you back in so many ways. If you have decided what is most important in life and have created a plan to get there, get rid of what you don't need to accomplish the plan. 

For instance, I got rid of tons of knitting supplies. Leaning to knit and knitting is way down on my priority list, so why store the stuff. Clear room(physically and mentally) to focus on top priorities. Having extra stuff around just distracts from what really needs to be done. Just because something is fun, develops a talent, or takes up time doesn't give it the right to be in your life. Life is short. You have a very limited time to serve and accomplish what God has sent you to earth to do. Money and other resources are also limited. So many people suffer in want while we buy more stupid, unnecessary stuff.

I can see so many people who are owned by their junk. It ruins their relationships, jobs, health, wealth, productivity, enjoyment, mobility,and purpose. They worship stuff.  They are continually shopping and paying for junk,  thinking about it, moving it, cleaning around it , fixing it, discussing it, storing it, and finding it.   They spend more time with their junk than they do praying, going to the temple, reading scriptures, or serving others.  Family and friends become unable to visit, especially if they have children.  Knick- knacks have become more important than children, grandchildren, friends, spouses, or anyone else. They eventually get to the point they can't handle it all alone. So they call neighbor kids, elders' quorums, or their own kids and grandkids to help them sort, store, transport, sell, or deal with their junk. They spread their problems and junk onto others. Or they die and leave insane amounts of stuff for others to go through, get rid of, and oddly, fight over.  Disgusting!

This is a huge problem with so many today. Jaremy and I consider ourselves minimalist in this time and country. However, even we can do much better. I get a high from dejunking. I think I'm going to go throw some stuff out. It's a great way to clear the mind.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father has led me to minimalism.  But I pray He will lead me to unconditionally love those who like their stuff.  I'm way too judgmental and mean. I get on a high horse when it comes to some people. I know this is way worse than collecting junk. I pray the Lord will change my heart. Not about the junk, but about the people. I pray He will help me sincerely love everyone.  I wish getting rid of a hard, judgmental heart was as easy as getting rid of stuff.

Upside-Down

We live in a crazy time. In a time when good is called evil and evil is called good. Anyone who stands for freedom, liberty, Christ, The Constitution, virtue, chastity, or honesty is persecuted, shamed, audited, and shut down.  Times are just as prophesied, yet still such wickedness and acceptance of such is shocking.
I'm eternally grateful we have the Gospel of Jesus Christ to guide us in this insane world. We know where to stand, we know how to act, we know of God's love and Atonement, we know we need to repent and we know how.  We know families are ordained of Good and can be eternal. What joy and happiness, what clarity and guidance!

Gingerbread Houses

Last night we had fun at cub scouts building Graham cracker ginger bread houses.  The boys made a big mess and lived it. We had terrific leaders that really pitched in with set up, construction, and clean-up. It would have been pretty overwhelming if it had just been me, but we had four other leaders and 15 boys.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father has helped me to change my perspective on my calling. I know it is what he wants me to do; therefore, I can do it. I can get through crazy evenings of trying to for everything in, because He will help and guide me. I can look for chances to share the love of God and my testimony of His Son with the cubs. So as things get a bit crazy around dinner time when I need to be leaving I take great comfort in knowing this is what I need to be doing and I just try to balance it all the best I can. The Lord helps me stay calm and kind. I'm so grateful for His gentle guidance.

Dear Natalie

Dear Natalie,

Happy Birthday!!!  I can't believe you are eleven.  It seems like just yesterday you were born.
You have been a glowing light in our family ever since that first day.  You are always so cheerful and optimistic.  Heavenly Father knew we needed the constant sunshine you give.

You are very aware of the needs of the family.  You quietly go around fixing meals, cleaning rooms, dressing toddlers, teaching little ones, giving massages, and doing whatever else you can to lift and help. You could run this household better than I can.  You have a tender spot for babies, children, the elderly, and anyone who needs comfort and help.  What would we do without you?!

You are brilliant!  You work hard in your school and love to learn.  You are very well organized and self-motivated.  You can plow through a to-do list and stick to hard tasks until they are completed.  You are a beautiful reader.  We all love listening to you.

Heavenly Father has blessed us so much by letting us have our dear, sweet Natalie in our family. Continue to stay close to the Lord by always praying (really praying), keeping the commandments, reading your scriptures, and remembering how much He loves you.

You are a beautiful girl!  Even if you were ugly on the outside your inner beauty would shine so brightly you would look beautiful no matter what.  You have an intense sparkle in those gorgeous eyes of yours that comes from the purity, happiness, and love in your heart.  Thank you for being such a wonderful example to all of us!  I love you ever so much!!! You are so very precious!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

Love,

Mama

Strengthened

We are on the edge financially. The company Jaremy works for is doing great, but not as well as would be required for big raises and bonuses we need.  I'm grateful we know happiness doesn't depend on a bunch of stuff. However, I catch myself worrying about launching children on missions and to school. I worry about having space for extended family parties and such. I want to get out of debt and become self-reliant and prepared, but I feel we are skating on thin ice. I ask for the Lord's guidance and help, but I'm slow to recognize the answers. I'm grateful for challenges; they are great opportunities for growing and becoming strengthened. I pray I will be teachable enough to become what the Lord wants me to be and faithful enough to do what the Lord wants me to do.