"I will give unto you success."

Parenthood and just surviving in this world can seem a daunting task sometimes.  Eight children to train, educate, feed, clothe, run around, cuddle, listen to, etc.  It seems almost impossible some days.  Today I felt failure was closing in around me.  I kept thinking: "Who am I to educate these little ones?  I have the simple vocabulary of a third grader.  I have to study to help the kids with math concepts.  What was I thinking I could educate my children? I never even graduated from high school or college.  Jaremy has to correct my pronunciation all the time.  If I had to support the family by working I would be earning minimum wage.  I can't handle teaching big kids and caring for little ones at the same time? I can't control my temper or teach with positive methods. I am failing and my children will fail because of me." I prayed desperately for help; for hope; for vision.  Maybe even a vision.  But I told Heavenly Father I really didn't have time for a vision.  Kids were crying, dinner was very late, school unfinished, snow unshoveled, etc.  But the Lord did answer my prayer, not with a vision but with a scripture.

I had tucked in sick Ella and little Adelynn.  The big boys were shoveling neighbors driveways.  Jessica and Natalie were walking the dogs in the storm.  Jaremy too was in bed sick.  So I had time to cuddle with Tank and read him "Laura."  That's what he calls "Little House" books.  After I grabbed the scriptures to read to him.  I opened right to Alma 26:27.

"Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success."

I knew the scripture was a very direct answer to my pleading earlier.  Heavenly Father is aware of our struggles and challenges.  I can't give up! or even slow down for a second!  We will succeed!  The Lord has spoken it to my heart!  Will it be hard!  I hope so!  Then success tastes all the sweeter!  Heavenly Father will help us!!  He makes it so we can have success!!!

Well, I better use the next little bit working on vocabulary lists and time lines for tomorrow!  We will succeed!

Hard Winter

The air in Salt Lake Valley is awful. It's been so gray and dull for so long. We have struggled with a bit of cabin fever, boredom, and real fever this winter. A storm has rolled in today to help clean the air for which I am grateful. Before we know it we will be planting a garden, running around in green grass and under blue skies. I'm grateful Heavenly Father has blessed me to live here where I can experience for seasons. I'm grateful I have a break from yard work and can focus on school work with the kids. I love both! I'm grateful for the variety as well. To help us get through the rest of the winter we will go on more outings and try to get some exercise.

Dog Update

I was so close to getting rid of the dogs.  But Jaremy insisted we stick with what we started and not just quit.  For this I am grateful.  We bought shock collars, made a virtual fence, and trained them to stay in it.  That lets them get their wiggles out.  We have also worked harder on basic training and taking them for walks.  They have made great improvements.  We still have an occasional accident indoors, but we are making progress.  We got rabbits and hay so we can eventually feed them for almost nothing.  They are sweet dogs! So good with the kids and baby!!!  We just have to have patience and keep problem solving and training.

Inspiration

This evening we watched a movie about the amazing neurosurgeon, Ben Carson.  It told about his life.  He came from a single parent family with little money.  But his mother, illiterate herself, insisted her boys work like crazy on their studies.  They pushed through even when it seems impossible and became very successful.

There were times when their mother feared they would fail and be doomed to poverty all their lives.  She never let her boys know of this fear, but kept encouraging them to greatness.  This they did achieve!

Sometimes I feel inadequate.  Sometimes I fear we are not going to reach our goals or be successful, but we can and will succeed.  Heavenly Father helps us all the time.  He will help us reach the stars if we work hard, believe in ourselves, stay positive, turn to Him, and have the courage to keep going even when it seems impossible.  I thankful Heavenly Father let me watch this movie at a time I needed the encouragement and inspiration it gave me.

The kids enjoyed it too!  I told them I now expect 2 book reports a week like Ms. Carson did from her boys.  They seemed excited and begged to go to the library everyday like the Carsons did.  Considering I canceled our Netflix subscription to save money this year they will have more time to read.  I do love good documentaries and educational movies, but for awhile we will get the chance to enjoy just reading!  We will also be able to enjoy the reports and discussing them as well.

Feedback

I like to make decisions by myself and do things my way. However, I am blessed to be on a team with my husband. He sometimes gives me feedback that is hard to swallow, but if I humble myself and listen, he is usually right.  Heavenly Father has blessed me with a wonderful husband who helps me make better decisions than I would on my own.

Infinitely Blessed

My family is everything to me! They are my joy! Each individual gives so much and adds so much to our family. Each personality is so precious! Thanks be to God! My heart is full of Thanksgiving for my dear, dear family!

Too Soft

My life is really so easy. I feel I am soft and too quick to complain when things are a bit challenging. Instead I should rejoice that the Lord lets me grow and create solutions. I am experiencing a bit of cabin fever with winter trapping us in all the time. The house seems so loud and chaotic for every waking minute. The kids and dogs have bottled up energy that comes out as contention, noise, whining, etc. So as the adult here I whine about the whining. But not anymore! I will think of ways to help the kids use their energy in positive ways. I will get them outside even if it's just for a minute or two. I will make sure everyone has some quiet alone time to study the scriptures and pray.  Even if everyone it's loud and crazy doesn't mean I have to get cantankerous. I can be the calm in the eye of the storm.

Another challenge we seem to have is getting things done. It seems it takes forever to get meals on, clean up, watch the little ones, do a bit of school, then do it all again. Are we serving anyone or enough people? Am I becoming more Christlike as I go through each day or just getting by by the skin of my teeth? Do my children feel the Spirit as I teach them our am I just talking? So to answer this challenge! I may not be able to accomplish all I want in a day, but I can do at least one thing I won't have to do again the next day.  I may just get the basics done, but I can do the basics with such kindness, love, and joy that angels will linger near us. I may not get the kids to be reverent during scriptures, but I can teach reverence with such patience, gentleness, and once again love that my children will feel the Spirit even if they are not paying attention to the reading.  I will try to move forward instead of just chasing my tail?

I can ask Heavenly Father for help and guidance in meeting these challenges instead of complaining about them. I am grateful for His help and patience with me as I make baby steps of improvement. Good night!

Dogs

The dogs are driving us crazy! They go days without peeing in the house then Bonnie pees every 3 minutes for hours on end. I'm not exaggerating! Maybe she has a bladder infection. She seems fine just peeing constantly! They get in the way, make a bunch of noise, run away outside, and scare or family and friends away. They were just suppose to scare the deer and bad guys away! That was the reason a got them. And Jessica wanted dogs really bad. I still want them to scare deer and bad guys, but I'm worried they will just bark all the time. Maybe a fence and shock collars will solve the problems. Oh, did I mention they are eating its out of house and home. I really don't feel like running a rabbitry and killing cute bunnies just to feed the dogs. I'm about to throw in the towel, but we will try the fence and shock collars first, I guess.

Adelynn is sleeping much better. While Jaremy was on a business trip I let her cry it out for 3 nights and during naps. So she is sleeping more soundly and only wimpers now and again in the night.  It its so hard to let babies cry out out and when you finally decide to do it you find they have a legitimate reason for crying then you feel so guilty. But she is old enough now, so... I'm glad Heavenly Father let's us "cry it out"sometimes. He is always right there watching us carefully, but we don't always feel He is. We have to learn to do things for ourselves and trust Heavenly Father more. When we do this we sleep better too.  Good night!

A Spiritual Morning

Jaremy left on a business trip this morning, but before he left he read to us from the scriptures, told the kids how wonderful they are, and bore his testimony about several things. The Spirit was here and it was wonderful to be taught and led by our Priesthood leader and patriarch. I am so blessed to have a worthy husband who takes his job as husband and father very seriously. He is amazing! The kids really appreciated this morning as well.

The challenges I wore about yesterday are already improving by leaps and bounds. Heavenly Father does care about us and blesses us so much.

The Lord also blessed me in understanding math today. I could see what the text was requiring, but I wasn't sure why. I was not even sure what questions to ask. So I prayed for help so I could visualize it and teach it so my child could understand. My prayer was answered as I was reading the scriptures. It was suddenly clear! I am so grateful Heavenly Father answers even insignificant prayers. They are significant to me. I know He loves me and can help me with anything.

Classic Parenting Challenge

How do you deal with a youth who has been acting fairly grown up like they should when all of a sudden they refuse to be cooperative and responsible?  What do you do when they act passive aggressive? Do you spank and scold them like you would a two-year-old? Or do you just lecture them yet again? Or do you let huge consequences fall on their heads? Or what? Lecturing, fun one-on-one time, prizes, punishments, consequences, etc. and nothing has worked.  Agency is great,but certainly not convenient.  And certainly not fun to watch someone you love use it wrong!  Oh, well!  This is problem that is universal among parents. I just want to learn how to handle it the right way.  I must spend a lot more time on my knees humbling myself.  I must humble myself! I must seek for their good not my own convenience, pride, or whatever. I'm grateful my parents put up with me and that my Heavenly Father still does.  I pray for His help! I'm in over my head, not that it takes much for that to happen. I adore my children, stinkers or not!

Change of Year

A new year is so exciting! 2012 was wonderful! 2013 is going to be the most amazing ever! I'm so pumped to become better and try to accomplish a lot of good.
Our most important goal is to improve or family culture by speaking with the tongue of angels.

Heavenly Father blessed me with a change of paradigm with our children. He helped me turn anger and frustration into love and understanding. It was very difficult to change my feelings but I prayed for help & Heavenly  Father answered my prayer. Jaremy and I visited about what I should do. I'm grateful Heavenly Father can help me change my heart.